https://www.elsmt.com/photo/data/medi...27-welcome.gif
https://upload.rewity.com/upfiles/MR422649.png

Product Description: It was the maiden voyage of the Titanic, the greatest ship ever built, and in one fatal, unforgettable night, the sea shattered the lives and future of an extraordinary family, the Winfields.

Edwina Winfield, returning from her engagement trip to England with her fiance and her family, instantly loses her parents, the man she loved and her dreams. Without even time to mourn, she courageously defies convention to run her family's California newspaper and care for her five younger siblings. Unable to forget her fiance Charles, she is determined never to marry, to hkeep her family together, and to fight to survive as a woman alone. But Phillip, her beloved oldest brother, sets out for Harvard and tragically betrays her trust. Madcap brother George turns to the excitement of Hollywood during its magical days, not to the Winfield publishing empire. And lovely Alexis, who narrowly escaped death when the Titanic went down, grows into a troubled runaway whom even Edwina's love may not be able to save. The two youngest, Fannie and Teddy, remain with Edwina at home.

Compelling and deeply moving, No Greater Love questions a woman's choices and the price she must pay for making them. And in an unforgettable climax, it offers an answer—as Edwina confronts the ghosts haunting her and take an extraordinary risk for her future and her heart.

https://g.imagehost.org/0997/alloly8ve4.gif
https://h.imagehost.org/0249/581201201.gif
download link
https://www.3qq3.com/e3lan/fwsel/f_dond.gif
يجب ان ترد لمشاهدة المحتوى المخفي

https://h.imagehost.org/0249/581201201.gif

Synopsis:
A survivor, along with her younger siblings, of the sinking of the Titanic, which killed her parents, Edwina Winfield returns to San Francisco and takes on the responsibilities of raising a family.
Edwina Winfield's life takes a dramatic turn for the responsible when her family dies in the Titanic disaster, and she swears off romance, takes over the family newspaper, and raises her five younger siblings.

Chapter 1
THE ONLY SOUND in the dining room was the ticking Of the large, Ornate clock on the mantelpiece, and the occasional muffled rustling of a heavy linen napkin. There were eleven people n the enormous dining rOOm, and it was so cold that Edwina could barely move her fingers. She glanced down at them and aught the gleam of her engagement ring in the mOrning sunlight, and then smiled, as she glanced across the table at her parents. Even with his eyes cast down at his plate, she could see the mischief at the corner of her father's mouth. And she was sure that beneath the table, he was holding her mother's hand. left to themselves, they were always teasing and laughing, and whispering playfully, and their friends liked to say that it was o wonder they had six children. At forty-one, Kate Winfield till looked like a girl.
She had a lithe figure and a slim waist, and walking behind them at a distance, it was often difficult to discern Kate from her oldest child, Edwina, who was also tall and had shining dark hair and big blue eyes.
They were very lose, as the entire family was. It was a family in which people laughed and talked and cried and hugged and joked, and great mischief was conducted daily.
It was difficult now for Edwina to keep a straight face as she watched her brother George make clouds of vapor with his breath in the arctic dining room, which their uncle Rupert, Lord Hickham, liked to keep slightly colder than the North pole. The Winfield children were used to none of this. They were used to the comforts of their American life in the warmer climate of California. They had come all the way from San Francisco a month before to stay with their aunt and uncle, and announce Edwina's engagement. Their ties to England seemed o be repeating themselves. Kate's sister, Elizabeth, had married Lord Rupert twenty-four years before, and she had come o England to be the second viscountess and the mistress of Havermoor Manor. At twenty-one, she had met the much older Lord Hickham when he had come to California with friends, and she'd been swept off her feet. More than two decades later, her nieces and nephews found it difficult to understand the attraction. Lord Hickham was distant and gruff, inhospitable n the extreme, he never seemed to laugh, and it was obvious to all of them that he found it extremely unpleasant having children in his house. It wasn't that he disliked them, Aunt Liz always explained, it was just that he wasn't used to them, never having had any of his own.
This by way of explanation for his being most unamused when George put several small tadpoles in his ale, after Uncle Rupert went duck hunting with their father. In truth, Rupert had long since stopped wanting children of his own. Long since, he had felt he needed an heir for Havermoor Manor, and is other large estates, but eventually it was obvious that that was not part of the Grand Plan. His first wife had suffered several miscarriages before dying in childbed some seventeen years before he married Liz. And he had always blamed Liz for not bearing him any children either, not that he would have wanted as many as Kate and Bertram had, and he would most assuredly have wanted his to be better behaved than theirs were. It was absolutely shocking, he assured his wife, what they let their children get away with. But Americans were known for that. No sense of dignity or control, no education, o discipline whatsoever. He was, however, enormously relieved that Edwina was marrying young Charles Fitzgerald. perhaps there was some hope for her after all, he had said grudgingly when Liz told him.
Lord Hickham was in his seventieth year, and he had been less than pleased when Kate wrote to her sister and asked if they could all come and stay. They were going to London to meet the Fitzgeralds and announce the engagement, but Rupert was aghast at the idea of all of them coming to Havermoor after that.
What, with their entire brood?" He had looked horrified when Liz gently asked him the question over breakfast. It was almost Christmas then and they wanted to come in March. And Liz had hoped that with enough time to reassure him, Rupert might actually let them do it. Liz longed to have her sister come, and have the children brighten her dreary days.
She had come to hate Havermoor in twenty-four years of living there with Rupert, and she missed her sister, and the happy girlhood they had shared in California.
Rupert was a difficult man to live with, and theirs had never become the marriage she had dreamed of. Early on, she had been impressed with his dignified airs, his title, his acute politeness with her, and his stories about the "civilized life" they all led in England. They were twenty-five years apart in age, and when she had arrived at Havermoor she had been shocked to find the Manor dismally depressing and in shocking disrepair. Rupert had kept a house in London in those days as well, but within a very short time, Liz had discovered that he never used it. And after four years of never setting foot in it, he had sold it to a good friend. Children might have helped, she felt, and she was anxious to start a family and hear young, happy voices echoing in the somber halls. But year after year, it became more obvious that this was not to be her fate, and she lived only to see Kate's children on her rare visits back to San Francisco. And eventually, even those small pleasures were denied her, as Rupert became too ill to travel much of the time, and finally announced that he was too old. Rheumatism, gout, and just plain old age discouraged him from roaming the world anymore and as he needed his wife to wait on him night and day, Liz was trapped at Havermoor with him. More often than she liked to admit, she found herself dreaming of going back to San Francisco, but she hadn't been able to go there in years. All of which made Kate and the children's visit all the more important to her, and she was all the more grateful when Rupert finally said they could stay with them, as long as they didn't stay forever.
This proved to be even more wonderful than Liz had expected. It had been several years since they'd last come, and she was overjoyed. And her long walks in the garden with her sister were all that she had longed for in her years away. Once upon a time, the two had been almost like twins, and now Liz was amazed to see Kate still looking so youthful and so pretty.
And she was obviously still very much in love with Bert. It made Liz regret again that she had ever married Rupert. Over the years, she had often wondered what life might have been like had she never become Lady Hickham and instead married someone in the States.
She and Kate had been so carefree as young girls, so happy at home with their doting parents. They had each been properly presented to Society at eighteen, and for a short time they had both had a wonderful time going to dinners and balls and parties, and then too quickly, Rupert had appeared, and Liz had left for England with him. And somehow, although she had lived in England for more than half of her life now, Liz was never able to feel that she truly belonged here. She had ever been able to alter the course of anything that Rupert had already established at Havermoor Manor before she arrived.
She was almost like a guest here, a guest with no influence, no control, and one who was not even very welcome. Since she had failed to produce an heir, her very presence there seemed without purpose.
Her life seemed so totally in contrast to her sister Kate's.
How could Kate possibly understand? With her handsome dark-haired young husband, and her six beautiful children who had come like gifts from heaven at regular intervals for most of the twenty-two happy years they'd been married. There were three sons and three daughters, all full of high spirits and good health, with their parents' beauty and intelligence, and lively sense of humor. And the odd thing was that although Kate and bert seemed almost too blessed, when one saw them, one had absolutely no doubt that they deserved it. Although Liz had envied her sister for years, and often said as much, she could ever allow herself to be jealous in an ugly sense. It all seemed o right, and Kate and Bert were such basically good and kind and decent people. They were all too well aware of the riches of joy they had, and often made a point of saying as much to the children. It made Liz nostalgic for what she had never known . . . the love of a child - . . and the obviously warm loving relationship that Kate shared with her husband. Living with Rupert had made Liz quiet over the years. There seemed so little to say anymore, and no one to whom to say it. Rupert was never particularly interested in her. He was interested in is estates and his ducks and his grouse and his pheasants and, when he was younger, his horses and his dogs, but a wife was of relatively little use to him, especially now with his gout bothering him SO much of the time. She could bring him his wine, and ring for the servants, and help him up to bed, but his sleeping quarters were far, far down the hall from hers, and had been for many years, once he had understood that there would be no children from her. All they shared was regret, and common home, and the chill loneliness that they shared here. All of which made a visit from the Winfields like throwing back the shutters, tearing down the curtains, and letting in the sunshine and fresh clean air of a California springtime.
There was a small hiccup, and then a stifled giggle at the other end of the table from where Liz and Kate sat on either side of Lord Rupert, who appeared not to have heard it. The two women exchanged a smile. Liz looked ten years younger han she had when they arrived. Seeing her sister and her pieces and nephews always seemed to revive her sagging spirits. It always broke Kate's heart to see how her sister had aged, and how lonely she was living here in the bleak countryside, in house she hated, with a man who very clearly did not love her, and probably never had. And now she felt the anguish of their leaving. In less than an hour they'd be gone. And Lord only knew when they'd come back to England. Kate had invited her to come to San Francisco to prepare for Edwina's wedding, but Liz felt she couldn't leave Rupert for that long and promised to come in August for the wedding.
The hiccup at the other end of the table was almost a relief, as Kate glanced down at nearly-six-year-old Alexis. George was whispering something to her, and Alexis was about to erupt in gales of giggles.
Shhh . .." Kate whispered, smiling at them, and glancing at Rupert.
Their own breakfast table usually sounded like a fourth of July picnic, but here they had to behave, and the children had been very good about following Rupert's rules this time, and he seemed to have mellowed slightly with age.
He had taken sixteen-year-old Phillip hunting several times, and although Phillip had admitted to his father that he hated it, he was always polite, and he had thanked his uncle and gone with him. But Phillip was like that, wanting to please everyone, he was always kind, gentlemanly, polite, and astonishingly thoughtful for a boy his age. It was difficult to believe he was just sixteen, and he was clearly the most responsible of all the Winfield children. Except for Edwina, of course, but she was twenty, and full grown, and in five months she would have a home and a husband of her own. And a year after that, she hoped perhaps even her own baby. It was hard to believe, Kate kept reminding herself, that her oldest child was old enough to be married and have children. they were going home now to attend to all the preparations for the wedding and Charles was coming back to the states with them as well. He was twenty-five years old, and he was head over heels in love with Edwina. They had met, by chance, in San Francisco, and they had been courting since the summer before.

The wedding was going to be in August, and they were taking with them yards and yards of the exquisite ivory fabric that Kate and Edwina had bought in London for her dress. ate was going to have her dressmaker in San Francisco embroider it with tiny pearls, and the veil was being made by a Frenchwoman who had just come to London from Paris. Lady Fitzgerald was going to bring it over with her, when they came to San Francisco in late July. And there would be lots to do in the meantime. Bertram Winfield was one of the most prominent men in California. He and his family owned one of San Francisco's most established newspapers, and there were hundreds of people they had to invite to the wedding. Kate and Edwina had been working on the list for a month. And it was already well over five hundred people. But Charles had only laughed when Edwina warned him that there might even be more.
It would have been far, far worse in London. There were seven hundred two years ago when my sister got married.
Thank God, I was still in Delhi." He had been traveling for the last four years. After two years in India with the military, he had then ventured to Kenya where he had spent a year, traveling, and visiting friends, and Edwina loved hearing about all of is adventures. She had begged to go to Africa on their honeyoon, but he thought something a little tamer might be in order. They were planning to spend the autumn in Italy and France, and they wanted to be back in London by Christmas.
Edwina secretly hoped that she'd be pregnant by then. She was madly in love with Charles, and she wanted a large family like her own, and a relationship like the happy one she'd always seen between her parents.
It wasn't that they didn't fight from time to time, they did, and it almost shook the chandeliers in their San Francisco house when their mother really lost her temper, but along with the anger, there was always love. There was always tenderness and forgiveness and compassion, and you always knew, no matter what, how much Kate and Berram loved each other, and that was exactly what Edwina wanted when she married Charles. She didn't want anything ore or less than that, she didn't need an important man, or a title, or a fancy manor house.
She wanted none of the things that had once foolishly drawn her Aunt Liz to Uncle Rupert.
She wanted goodness, and a sense of humor, and a fine mind, someone she could laugh with, and talk to, and work hard with.
It was true that theirs would be an easy life, and Charles enjoyed sports and going out with friends, and had never been burdened with having to earn a living, but he had the right values and she respected him, and one day he would have his father's seat in the House of Lords. and just as Edwina did, Charles wanted at least half a dozen children.
Her parents had had seven, although one had died at birth, a baby boy who had been between her and Philip, which had made Phillip feel even more responsible about everything. It was as though he were taking someone else's place by being the eldest son now, and everything he did, or that touched him, seemed to put more responsibility on Philip's shoulders. All of which made life very simple for George who, at twelve, felt his only mission in life was to amuse everyone, and responsibility was the furthest thing from his mind at any moment. He tortured Alexis and the little ones whenever he could, and felt that it fell to him to lighten his older brother's more austere behavior, and he did that by short-sheeting is bed, or putting harmless snakes in his shoes, a well-placed mouse was useful here and there, and pepper in his morning coffee, just to start his day off right. Phillip clearly felt that George had been visited on him to ruin his existence, and during his rare and extremely cautious pursuits of the opposite sex, George always seemed to appear, ready to lend his expert assistance. George was in no way shy around girls, or around anyone for that matter. On the ship coming over, it seemed as though everywhere Kate and Bertram went, they were greeted by enchanted acquaintances of their second son . . . "Oh, you're George's parents. as Kate inwardly cringed, wondering what he had done now, and Bertram laughed, amused by the boy's harmless pranks and high spirits. The shyest one was their next born, little Alexis with her halo of white-blond curls hand huge blue eyes. The others all had dark hair and blue eyes, like Kate and Bert, except Alexis, who was so fair her hair looked almost white in the sunlight. It was as though the angels had given George all their mischief and courage, and they had given Alexis something very delicate and rare. And everywhere she went, people looked at her and stared and talked about how pretty she was.
And within minutes, she would disappear into thin air, only to reappear again, quietly, as though on silent wings, hours later. She was Kate's "baby girl," and her father's "special baby," and it was rare that she ever spoke to anyone else. She lived happily within the confines of her family, and was protected by all. She was always there, silent, seeing, yet saying very little. And she would spend hours in the garden sometimes, making garlands for her mother's hair. Her gardens meant everything to her, although she also loved Edwina. But Edwina was actually closer to their next born, four-year-old Frances. Fannie, as she was called by everyone; annie of the sweet round cheeks, and chubby hands and sturdy little legs. She had a smile that melted everyone's heart, specially her daddy's, and like Edwina, she had blue eyes and shining black hair. She looked exactly like their father, and she had his good nature. She was always happy, and smiling, and content wherever she was, not unlike baby Teddy. He was two, and the apple of his mother's eye. He was talking now, and discovering everything around him, with a headful of curls and cheerful belly laugh. He loved to run away and make Oona chase him. She was a very sweet Irish girl who had fled Ireland at fourteen, and Kate had been grateful to find her in San Francisco. She was eighteen years old, and a great help to Kate with all of them. Oona would tell Kate reproachfully that she spoiled little Teddy. And she laughingly admitted that she did.
She indulged all of them at times because she loved them so dearly. ut what Kate marveled at each year was how different they all were, what totally unique and individual people they ere, and how varied their needs. Everything about them was different, their attitudes, their aspirations, their reactions toer, and life, and each other . . . from Alexis's timidity and any fears, to Phillip's staunch sense of responsibility, to George's complete lack of it, to Edwina's strong, quiet selfassurance. She had always been so thoughtful and so kind, thinking of everyone before herself, that it was a relief to Kate o see her now, head over heels in love with Charles, and enjoying it so much.
She deserved it. For years, she had been her other's right hand, and it seemed time to Kate now for Edwina to have her own life.
She only wished that she weren't moving to England. This was the second time in her life that she had lost someone she loved to foreign shores.
And she could only hope that her daughter would be happier than her sister Liz had been there, ut fortunately Charles was entirely different from Rupert.
Charles was charming and intelligent and attractive and kind, and Kate thought he would make a wonderful husband. they were meeting Charles that morning at the White tar dock in Southampton. He had agreed to go back to the states with them, in part because he couldn't bear the thought of leaving Edwina for the next four months, and also because Rupert had insisted that he sail with them as an engagement present. They were sailing on a brand-new ship, on her maiden voyage. And all of them were enormously excited. they were still sitting in the dining room at Havermoor manor, and Alexis was starting to laugh out loud, as George said something outrageous in an undertone and then made more vapor with his breath in the frigid air.
Bertram was starting to chuckle at his children, when Rupert stood up at last, and they were free to go. Bert came around the table to say good-bye to him, and shook his brother-in-law's hand. And for once, Rupert was actually sorry to see him go. He liked Bert, he had even come to like Kate over the years, although he was still rather tentative about their children.
It's been wonderful staying with you here, Rupert. Come back to see us in San Francisco," Bertram said, and almost meant it.
I'm afraid I'm a bit beyond it." They had already agreed that Liz would travel to San Francisco for the wedding with Charles's parents. She was just relieved that Rupert would let her go at all, and she could hardly wait. She had already picked her dress in London with Kate and Edwina.
If you feel up to it, come." The two men shook hands gain. Rupert was glad they had come, and now glad again that they were going.
Do write and tell us about the ship. She must be quite something." He looked envious, but only for a moment. And this time Liz was not envious at all. Just thinking about boats of any kind made her desperately seasick. She was already dreading the crossing in July.
"Will you write about it for the paper, Bert?" Bert smiled. He seldom, if ever, wrote anything for his own paper, except for an occasional editorial, when he couldn't restrain himself.
But this time, he had to admit, he had thought about it more than once.
"I might. If I do, I'll send you a copy when we run it." Rupert put an arm around Bert's shoulders, and walked him to the door, as Edwina and Kate rounded up the younger children with Oona, the Irish girl, and saw to it that everyone went to the bathroom before they left for Southampton. t was still shockingly early, the sun was just coming up, and they had a three-hour drive ahead of them to Southampton.
Rupert had delegated his chauffeur and two of the stableboys to take them to Southampton in three cars with what little luggage they still had.
Most of the trunks had gone down the day before, and would be waiting for them in their staterooms. and within a few moments, the children had piled into all three cars, Edwina and Phillip with some of the luggage, and George, who insisted on sitting with the stableboy who was at the wheel, Oona with Fannie and little Teddy and the rest of their bags in another car, and Kate and Bertram were going to ride in Rupert's own Silver Ghost with Alexis.
Liz had volunteered to come with them, but Kate had insisted that it was too long a journey. They would see each other in four months anyway, and it would be too lonely for her coming back alone n the empty convoy.
Instead the two women embraced, and or a long moment, Liz held her fast, not knowing why she felt o emotional this morning.
Take good care . . . I'll miss you so. . .." It seemed so painful seeing her go this time, as though she just couldn't bear too many more partings. Liz hugged her again, and Kate laughed, straightening the very stylish hat that Bertram had bought her in London.
It'll be August before you know it, Liz," Kate whispered gently in her sister's ear, "and you'll be home again." She kissed her cheek, and then pulled away to look at her, wishing that Liz didn't look so worn and so dejected. It made her think gain of Edwina's moving to England when she married Charles, and Kate could only pray that her daughter's life would turn out to be happier than her sister's. She hated the thought of her being so far away, just as she hated the thought of leaving Liz here now, as Rupert harrumphed, and instructed their drivers, and urged them to leave so they wouldn't miss the ship. She was sailing in just under five hours.
She's sailing at noon, isn't she?" He pulled out his pocket watch and consulted Bert, as Kate gave Liz a last hug and then limbed into the car, pulling Alexis in beside her.
Yes, she is. We'll be there in plenty of time." It was seven-thirty in the morning on the tenth of April.
Have a marvelous trip! She's a great ship! Good sailing!" he waved as the first car drove away, and Liz stood close to him as the second car followed, and then the last, as Kate waved from the window with a broad smile, with Alexis on her ap, and Bertram sitting next to her with an arm around her shoulders.
I love you! . .." Liz called out as they sped away in the roar of the engines. "I love you . . ' The words faded away aS she wiped a tear from her eye, not sure why she felt so worried.
It was silly really, she'd be seeing them all again in August. She smiled to herself then as she followed Rupert inside. He locked himself in his library as he frequently did in the morning, and Liz walked back into the dining room to stare at their empty seats, and watch their empty plates being cleared away, and a terrible feeling of loneliness overwhelmed her. Where they had been only moments before, the room that had been so full of life and the people that she loved, was all so empty now, and he was alone again, as the others sped toward Southampton.
AS THEY APPROACHED the dock at Southampton, the car that Kate and Bertram were in led the convoy of Lord Hickham's automobiles to the place where first-class passengers were embarking. In the second car, George was jumping up and down n his seat, and Edwina finally had to insist that he sit down before he drove her and Phillip utterly crazy.
Look, look at her, Edwina!" He was pointing to the ship's four impressive smokestacks, as Phillip urged him to calm down. Unlike his more exuberant younger brother, Phillip had done considerable reading about the ship as soon as he knew that they would be sailing on her maiden voyage. She had a nearly identical sister ship, the Olympic which had been in operation since the year before, but this was literally the largest ship in existence. The R. M. S. Titanic was marginally bigger than her sister ship, but she was half again as large as any other liner afloat, anywhere in the world, and George was in awe of her when he saw her. His father's newspaper had called her The Wonder Ship" when they'd written about her, and on Wall Street she'd been called "The Millionaires' Special." It was an extraordinary privilege to be sailing on her maiden voyage. Bert Winfield had reserved five of the twenty-eight special staterooms on B Deck, which were among the many features that set her apart from any other ship in operation. These staterooms had windows instead of portholes and were beautifully decorated with French, Dutch, and British antiques. The White Star Line had outdone themselves in every way. And the I've staterooms of the Winfield party were interconnecting so s to make them seem like one very large suite, rather than several adjoining rooms.

George was going to be rooming with Phillip, Edwina with Alexis, Oona with the two little ones, Fannie and Teddy, and Bertram and Kate were in the largest of the staterooms, in room just next to the one occupied by their future son-in-law, Charles Fitzgerald. It promised to be a festive crossing, and George could hardly wait to get on the ship, as he dashed out of the car a moment later and headed for the gangplank. But his brother was too quick for him and she grabbed his arm and hauled him back to where Edwina was helping her mother with the others.
Just where do you think you're going, young man?" Philip intoned, sounding more like his father than himself as George gave him a look of intense irritation.
You're beginning to sound like Uncle Rupert."
Never mind that. You stay right here until Father tells you that you can board the ship." He glanced over Edwina's shoulder then and saw Alexis shrinking back against her mother's skirts, and the nurse struggling with the two younger ones, both of whom were crying. "Go help with Teddy. Oona's trying to help Mother organize the bags." And their father was in the process of dismissing Lord Hickham's drivers.
It was the kind of situation George normally liked, utter chaos, which would allow him to disappear and do exactly what he wanted.
Do I have to?" He looked horrified at the prospect of having to baby-sit when there was so much to discover. The Titanic's awe-inspiring hulk stood next to them at the pier and ll George wanted to do was get on her to discover all her secrets. He had a lot of exploring to do, and he could hardly wait to start. There was not a moment to be wasted.
Yes, you have to help." Phillip growled again, pushing George in the direction of the younger ones, as he went to assist his father. He noticed out of the corner of his eye then that Edwina was having something of a time with Alexis.
Don't be silly." She was kneeling next to her on the pier, n the elegant new blue wool suit that she'd worn when she'd one to meet Charles's parents. "What is there to be afraid of?
"Look." Edwina gestured toward the huge ship. "It's just like a floating city, and in a few days we'll be in New York, and then we'll take the train back to San Francisco." Edwina tried to make light of it, and make it sound like an adventure, but Alexis was clearly terrified of the awesome mass of the ship, and she dived into her mother's skirts and began to cry again as she pulled free of Edwina.
What's the matter?" Kate glanced over at her oldest daughter and tried to hear what she was saying above the din as the band playing on the bridge launched into ragtime. But aside from that, thus far there had been very little fanfare. The White Star Line had apparently decided that too much fuss would be vulgar. "What happened?" Kate was trying to calm Alexis.
She's scared," Edwina mouthed, and Kate nodded. It was always poor little Alexis who was terrified of new events, new people, new places, and she had been afraid coming over on the Mauretania, too, and had asked her mother repeatedly what would happen if she fell in the water. ate stroked her silky golden curls with her thinly gloved and, and stooped to whisper a secret to her. Her words brought a smile to the child's lips, when she reminded her that n five days it would be her birthday. She was going to be six and her mother had promised her a birthday party on the ship, and another when they got back to San Francisco. "Alright?" he whispered to the frightened child, but Alexis only shook her head as she started to cry all over again and clung to her other.
I don't want to go." And then before she could say more, she felt herself gently scooped up in powerful hands and lifted into her father's shoulders.
Sure you do, sugarplum. You wouldn't want to stay here n England without us, would you? Of course not, silly girl.
We're all going home now on the most wonderful ship ever built. And you know what I just saw? I saw a little girl just about your age, and I'll bet that before we get to New York you two are best friends. Now, let's go aboard and see what our rooms look like, shall we?" He held her firmly on his shoulders and she had stopped crying by then as he took is wife's arm, and shepherded his family up the gangplank. He set Alexis own when they were safely on board the ship, and she clung tightly to his hand as they walked up the grand staircase to the upper deck and peeked in the gym windows at the much-talked-about electric camel. people were roaming everywhere, looking at the hand-done decor, the beautiful wood paneling and wood carvings, the detailing, the elaborate chandeliers, the draperies, the five rand pianos. Even Alexis was quiet as they walked around the hip, before going to B Deck to their staterooms.
It's quite something, isn't it?" Bert said to Kate, and she smiled.
She loved the idea of being on shipboard with him. It seemed so cozy and safe and romantic, suspended between two worlds, with everyone comfortable and well taken care of. For once, she was planning to let Oona chase after the children ore than she usually did, and Kate was going to relax wither husband. He had looked particularly enchanted when he saw the gymnasium, and peeked into the smoking room, but Kate grinned and wagged a finger at him.
No, you don't! I want to spend some time with you on this trip." She moved closer to him for a moment and he smiled.
You mean Charles and Edwina aren't the only young lovers on this ship?" he whispered to his wife, as he continued to old Alexis's hand.
I hope not." Kate smiled meaningfully at him, and gently touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers.
All right, everybody, what do you say we go to our staterooms, unpack a little bit, and then do some more exploring?"
Can't we go now, Dad?" George pleaded. He was about to burst with excitement, but Bert insisted that it would be easier of they let the little ones see their rooms and settle in, and then he would personally escort George on his adventures. But the temptation was too much for George, and before they reached B-Deck, two floors below the gym, George had disappeared and Kate was worried about where he had gone to, and she wanted Phillip to go and find him.
Let him be, Kate. He can't go far. AS long as he doesn't get off the ship, he'll be fine, and he's much too excited to be on it to get off for anything in the world. I'll go and look for him myself once we get settled." Kate hesitantly agreed, but she was nonetheless worried about what mischief he might get into. But as soon as they saw the lovely staterooms Bertram had reserved for them, they were all far too happy and distracted to think of anything else, and everyone was delighted to see Charles when he arrived a few moments later.
Is this it?" He stuck his handsome head in the doorway of the main parlor, his dark hair perfectly groomed, his blue eyes dancing as he saw his future bride, and she leapt to her feet as she saw him and ran across the small private sitting room which Kate and Bertram planned to use, if they wanted to get away from the children.
Charles!" Edwina blushed furiously, as she flew into his arms, her hair the same color as his, her eyes an even deeper blue, and everything about her attesting to their happiness as he swung her right off the floor while Alexis and Fannie giggled.
What's so funny about that, you two?" He loved to play with the little girls, and he thought Teddy was the sweetest baby he had ever seen. He and Phillip were good friends, and even wild George amused him. It was a wonderful family, and he was deeply grateful to have found Edwina.
"Have you seen the doggies yet?" he asked the girls over their sister's shoulder. annie shook her head, but Alexis looked suddenly worried.
We'll go visit them after your naps this afternoon." He was almost like a father figure to them, just as Edwina was like another mother.
Where are they?" Alexis asked worriedly, anxious about the dogs now.
In cages way, way downstairs, and they can't get out," Edwina reassured her. Alexis would never leave the stateroom or the rest of the trip, if she thought there might be a danger of running into a dog lurking in the hallways, outside their cabin.
Edwina turned the children over to Oona then, and followed Charles to his stateroom. Her father had reserved him a lovely room, and away from the children's sharply probing eyes, he pulled her closer to him and kissed her gently on the mouth, as Edwina caught her breath, forgetting everything but the powerful presence of her future husband. There were moments, like this one, when she wondered how they would ever wait until August. But there was no question of that, even on this most romantic ship. Edwina would never have betrayed her parents' faith in her, nor would Charles, but it was going to be difficult to restrain themselves until mid-August.
Would you like to take a walk, Miss Winfield?" Charles smiled at his fiancee as he tendered the invitation.
I would love to, Mr. Fitzgerald." He laid his heavy coat down on the bed, and prepared to stroll outside on the deck with her. It wasn't particularly cold in port, and he was so happy to see her that he could think of nothing else. They had only been apart for a few days, but every hour seemed too much to them now, and she was glad he was going back to San Francisco with them. It would have been unbearable if he hadn't. "I missed you terribly," she whispered as they walked back up the grand staircase to the Promenade Deck just above them.
So did I, my love. It won't be long now before we never have to be apart again, not even for a moment." he nodded happily, as they wandered past the French sidewalk cafe" with its little "boulevard" in front, and the rapid-fire chatter of the French waiters, as they glanced over at Edwina and smiled in admiration.
Many of the first-class passengers seemed to be intrigued by the little "bistro." It was a novelty that existed on no other ship, like so many other features of the Titanic. they walked on to the forward half of the Promenade deck then with its huge glassed-in section that allowed one to look out over the sea, and be sheltered from the weather. "I ave a feeling we're going to find a lot of little cozy corners of our own on this ship, my love." Charles smiled and pulled her hand more tightly through his arm, and Edwina laughed as he did it.
So is George. He already got lost on the way to the staterooms. That child is hopeless. I don't know why my mother doesn't throttle him."
Edwina looked exasperated at the mention of her brother.
She doesn't because he's so charming," Charles defended him. "George knows exactly how far to go." She couldn't really disagree, although at times she would have liked to strangle him herself.
I suppose so. It's amazing how different he is from Philip. Phillip would never have done anything like that."
Neither would I as a child. Perhaps that's why I admire him now. I wish I had. And George will never have to regret missing anything he 'should have done." I'm sure he's done it all." He laughed and Edwina smiled happily up at him, as Charles put an arm around her shoulders and they watched the huge ship slowly pull away from the dock. She found herself praying that her father had been right, and George hadn't left the ship during his brief excursion. But somehow, like her father, she suspected that he wouldn't, there was too much to see right here, without leaving the ship. And as they looked down, the ship's fiercely resonant whistles gave a blast, rendering all conversation impossible.
There was a real feeling of excitement in the air, and Charles pulled her into his arms again and kissed her gently as they listened to the whistles just above them. assisted by six tugs, the mammoth ship crept out of the lip and into the channel, headed for Cherbourg, where they ere to pick up more passengers before going on to Queenstown and then the high seas and New York. But within moments, there was a brief interlude of excitement that those below were unaware of, but the passengers on deck watched with amazement as the huge ship glided past an American and a British liner, tied up at the quay due to a recent coal strike. The American Line's New York had been moored to the White Star's oceanic, and the two small liners stood side by side, rendering the passage for the Titanic extremely narrow. There was a sudden sound of what seemed almost like pistol shots, and with no warning the lines tying the New York to the Oceanic gave way, and the New York drifted toward the Titanic to within a few feet nul it looked as though she would ram the Titanic portside. with a series of quick maneuvers, one of the tugs assisting the Titanic out of the harbor passed a line to the New York and deckhands were able to stop her drift before she collided with the Titanic. The New York was then towed away, and the Titanic was able to steam out of port and head for Cherbourg. But it had been very close, the Titanic had almost been rammed. And it was a most impressive series of maneuvers that had spared them. The passengers who had seen it all felt as though they had witnessed an exhibition of remarkable skill. But the Titanic seemed invincible, invulnerable to all. The Titanic was four city blocks long, or eight hundred and eighty-two feet, as Philip had precisely informed them earlier, and she was anything but easy to maneuver.
Was that as close as I thought it was?" Edwina inquired, mesmerized by what she had just seen, and her fiance nodded.

I believe so. Shall we have a little glass of champagne at the Cafe?"
Parisien to celebrate our safe departure?" Edwina nodded happily and they headed back to the "sidewalk cafe," where, within minutes, a breathless and slightly rumpled George managed to find them.
What are you doing here, Sis?" He appeared on the "boulevard" of the cafe, with his cap askew, his shirttails out, and one knee of his trousers filthy dirty. But he had never looked happier in his life.
I might ask you the same question. Mother was looking or you everywhere. What on earth have you been doing?" Edwina scowled at him.
I had to look around, Edwina." He looked at her as though she were extremely stupid, and then cast a winning lance at Charles. "Hello, Charles, how are you?"
Very well, thank you, George. How's the ship? Sound? re you pleased with her?"
She's great! Did you know there are four elevators and they each go nine floors? There's also a squash court, and a swimming pool, and they're carrying a brand-new motorcar to new York, a Renault, and there are some pretty fantastic machines in the kitchen. I couldn't get in to steerage when I tried, But I checked second class and it seems all right, there was a very nice girl there," he reported, as his future brother-in-law looked vastly amused, and Edwina was horrified at the performance of her younger brother. He had absolutely no self-control, and wasn't even embarrassed by his disheveled appearance.
I'd say you've had a good look at everything, George. Well done,"
Charles congratulated him, and the errant child grinned proudly. "Have you been to the bridge yet?"
No." The boy looked disappointed. "I haven't really had much time to have a good look at the bridge yet. I was up there, but there were too many people to really see what was going on. I'll have to go back there later. Do you want to go for a swim after lunch?"
I'd like that very much, if that suits your sister's plans." ut Edwina was fuming. "I think you should be put down or a nap, with Fannie and Teddy. If you think you can run all ver this ship, acting like some wild young hoodlum, you've of another think coming, from me, if not from Mama and Papa."
Oh, Edwina," the boy groaned, "you don't understand Nothing. This is really important stuff."
So is behaving properly. Wait until Mama sees the way you look."
What was that?" Her father's voice spoke from just behind her, and there was a ring of amusement to it. "Hello, Charles. . . . Hello, George, I see you've been busy." There was even a small smear of grease across his face, and George had never looked more pleased with life or more at ease, as his father looked down at him with open amusement.
This is just great, Dad."
I'm glad to hear it." But at that exact moment, Kate caught a glimpse of her son as she approached, and scolded him when she reached them.
Bertram! How can you allow him to look like that! He looks . . . he looks like an urchin!"
Do you hear that, George?" his father asked calmly. "I'd say it's time to clean up. May I suggest that you go to your stateroom and change into something a little less . . . uh . worn . . . before you overly upset your mother." But his father looked more amused than annoyed, as the boy grinned up at him with a wide smile that mirrored his own. But Kate was less amused as she told George to take a bath and change his clothes before reappearing.
Oh, Mom . .." George looked imploringly at Kate, but o no avail.
She pulled up her sleeve, took his hand in her own, and marched him downstairs, where she left him with Phillip, who was studying the passenger list, hoping to find someone he new there. The Astors were on board, of course, and Mr. and rs. Isidor Straus, of the family who owned Macy's. There were many, many famous names, and several young people as well, but no one Phillip knew, not yet anyway. But he had seen several young ladies who appealed to him, and he was hoping to meet them during the crossing. He was still studying the passenger list when his mother escorted George into the room and asked her older son to see to it that he clean up and behave himself, and Phillip promised to do his best, but George was already chafing to be off again. He still wanted to visit the boiler room and the bridge, and go back to the kitchen again, There were several machines they hadn't let him use, and there was one elevator he still had to check to see if it went farther up or down than the others.
It's a shame you don't get seasick," Phillip said to him mournfully as Kate went back to the others on the Promenade deck.
She and her husband enjoyed a pleasant lunch with Edwina and Charles, and then met up with Phillip and George and Oona and the younger children after their naps, and Alexis seemed a little less worried about the ship by then. She was fascinated by the people chatting and strolling all around, and y then she had met the little girl that her father had mentioned earlier. Her name was Lorraine, and she was actually loser to Fannie's age. She was three and a half and she had a baby brother named Trevor, and they were from Montreal. She had a doll just like Alexis's.
They were grown-up lady dolls, and Alexis called hers Mrs. Thomas.
She had gotten her from aunt Liz for Christmas the year before, and Alexis went everywhere with her. Lorraine's had almost the same face, but her hat and coat weren't as fancy as the one Aunt Liz had sent, and Mrs. Thomas was wearing a pink silk dress that Edwina had made, under the black velvet coat that she had come with. She had high button shoes, too, and that afternoon Alexis took her or a walk with her as she strolled around the Promenade Deck with her parents. the ship docked at Cherbourg at Alexis's bedtime that night. The little ones were already asleep, and George had disappeared again. Kate and Edwina were dressing for dinner, 6
O GREATER LOVE while Charles, Phillip, and Bertram waited in the smoking room for the ladies.
They had dinner in the main dining saloon on D Deck that night, the men all in white tie, of course, and the women in exquisite dresses they had bought in London or Paris or New York. Kate wore the incredible pearl and diamond choker that had once been Bertram's mother's. The dining brass, and crystal chandeliers, and the three hundred first-class passengers dining there looked like visions in a fairy tale in the brightly lit room. Edwina thought she had never seen anything s beautiful as she looked around, and then smiled at her future husband.
After dinner, they sat in the adjoining reception room, here they listened to the ship's band play for hours, and finally Kate yawned and admitted that she was so tired she could barely move. It had been a long day, and she was happy to troll back to their staterooms with her eldest son and her husband. Edwina and Charles had decided to stay a little longer, and Kate had no objection to it. And when Phillip checked and found George sound asleep in bed they were all relieved to realize that he was no longer on the loose.
At noon the next day, they made their final stop, to pick up steerage passengers in Queenstown, and suddenly as they watched the passengers boarding, from high up Oona gave a squeal and clutched the railing of the Promenade Deck.
Oh, my Lord, Mrs. Winfield! It's me cousin!"
How on earth can you tell from here?" Kate looked unconvinced. She was a very emotional girl, and not without a vivid imagination. "I'm sure it can't be."
I'd know her anywhere. She's two years older than me, and we was always like sisters. She's got ginger hair, and a little girl, and I see them both . . . Mrs. Winfield, I swear it! . .
She's been talking about coming to the States for years . oh, Mrs. Winfield." There were tears swimming in her eyes.
How will I find her on the ship?"
If that's really your cousin, we'll ask the purser. He can heck the third-class passenger list, and if it's she, she'll be on t. What's her name?"
Alice O"Dare. And her daughter is Mary. She'll be five now." The information wasn't lost on Kate. If she was two ears older than Oona, she'd be twenty . . . with a five-year-old daughter . . . she couldn't help but wonder if there was a husband, too, but she didn't want to offend Oona by asking, and she correctly assumed that there probably wasn't.
Can I play with her little girl?" Alexis asked quietly. She was feeling better today. After a night in a cozy bed, the Titanic didn't seem quite so scary. And all the stewards and stewardesses were so nice to her that she was actually beginning to enjoy it. And Fannie thought it was fun too. She had crept into Edwina's bed that morning, and found Alexis already there, and pretty soon Teddy had climbed into bed with them, too, and a little while later, George appeared and sat on the edge of Edwina's bed, tickling all of them, until their squeals and gales of laughter finally woke Oona. She had come running, and then grinned when she saw all of them. Just as she smiled from ear to ear when she found her cousin's name on the passenger list. There it was, plain as day.
Alice O"Dare. She went to tell Edwina, while she was dressing for dinner at the A la Carte restaurant with Charles and her parents.
Miss Edwina . . . I was right . . . it was my cousin coming on the ship today. I just knew it. I haven't seen her in our years and she hasn't changed a bit!"
How do you know?" Edwina smiled at her. She was a sweet girl, and she knew that Oona was genuinely fond of the children.
One of the stewardesses stayed with the little ones for an our during their naps, while I went down to steerage to see her. She was on the passenger list, the purser said, and I had to see her." And then, as though to defend herself, "Mrs. Winfield new. I told her and she said I could go."
I'm sure it's all right, Oona." It was an odd position for Edwina sometimes, neither mistress nor child, and she knew that Oona and others in their house sometimes saw her as a spy, because she might mention something to her mother.
Your cousin must have been very happy to see you, I'm sure." he looked kindly at the girl, feeling light-years older. And feeling relieved and happy, Oona smiled.
She's a beautiful girl, and little Mary is so sweet. She was only a year old the last time I saw her. And she looks just as Alice did as a child! Ginger hair like fire." She laughed happily, and Edwina smiled, clipping on a pair of her mother's diamond earrings.
Is she going to New York?" The young Irish girl nodded, feeling blessed by the fates.
She was. She has an aunt and some cousins there, but I was after telling her to come to California. And she says she'll try.
"I'll do anything I can to help her." Edwina smiled at her. The girl looked so happy, and it was nice for her to have relatives on the ship, and then suddenly she thought of something she knew her mother would have thought about too.
Did you wash your hands carefully when you came back?"
I did." She looked faintly hurt, but she understood. To them, third class was like a disease, a place one never saw and wouldn't want to.
But it hadn't been as bad as Oona had expected. It was nothing like her own cabin, of course, and none of the bits and pieces in the cabin were very fancy, but it was decent and clean, and it would get them all to America in one piece, and in the end, that was all that mattered.
"Aren't we lucky, Miss Edwina? To be on the same ship . . . fancy that Faith, I never thought I'd have so much good fortune." She smiled at Edwina again, and went back to her cabin to watch the children, as Edwina walked into the parlor to join her parents and Charles. They were having dinner that night at the elegant A Ia Carte Restaurant, and Edwina could only agree with Oona as she smiled across the room at her intended. They ere all lucky, and blessed, for the lives they led, the people they loved, the places they went to, and this beautiful ship taking them back to the States on its maiden voyage. As she stood holding Charles's hand, in her pale blue satin dress, her air softly piled high on her head, her engagement ring glistening on her finger, Edwina Winfield knew that in all her life, she had never been as lucky or as happy. And as she drifted into the hall on Charles's arm, as Kate and Bertram chatted cozily, she knew it was going to be a special night, a prelude to a wonderful lifetime.
THE DAYs on the Titanic seemed to glide by with ease and pleasure.
There was so much to do, and seemingly so little time n which to do it.
It was all too pleasurable, and so easy, suspended between two worlds, on the ship that offered absolutely everything from exquisite meals to squash games and swimming pools and Turkish baths.
Phillip and Charles enjoyed several games of squash and ode the stationary bicycles and the mechanical horses every morning while Edwina tried the novelty of the electric camel.
George rode the elevators instead, making friends, and the entire family had lunch together every day. And then, when the little ones went for naps with Oona, Kate and Bertram would o for long walks on the Promenade Deck, talking about things they hadn't had time to discuss for years. But the days went too quickly, and they were over almost before they knew it.
Their evenings were spent dining in either the main dining saloon or the even more elegant A Ia Carte Restaurant, here the Winfields were introduced to the Astors by Captain Smith on the second day of the trip.
Mrs. Astor commented to ate about their lovely family, and from several things she aid, Kate deduced that the new Mrs. Astor was expecting. She was considerably younger than her husband, and they appeared to be very much in love. Whenever Kate saw them together after that, they were always talking quietly or holding hands, and once she had seen them kissing on their way into their stateroom. The Strauses were a couple Kate had decided she liked too. She had never seen two people so compatible and so obviously in love after so many years, and during her one or two conversations with Mrs. Straus she had discovered that she had a wonderful sense of humor.
There were three hundred and twenty-five first-class passengers in all, many of them interesting, some well known, and she had particularly enjoyed meeting a woman named Helen Churchill Candee. She was a writer, and had written several books, and seemed interested in a wide variety of subjects. A wide variety of "subjects" were interested in her as well. And Kate had noticed repeatedly that the attractive Mrs. Candee was seldom surrounded by fewer than half a dozen men, some of them the most attractive on the ship, with the exception of Kate's own husband.
See what you could have done with your life, if you weren't stuck with me," Bert teased as they wandered past Mrs. Candee's deck chair, where a group of men were waiting breathlessly for every word, and Kate could hear her elegant laughter ring out as they walked away. But she could only laugh herself. It was something Kate Winfield had never even thought of. The very thought of leading a life like Mrs. Candee's only made her smile. She loved her own life, with her children, and her husband.
I'm afraid I'd never do as a femme fatale, my love."
Why not?" He looked hurt, as though she were questioning his taste.
"You're a very beautiful woman."
Silly thing." She kissed his neck and then shook her head, with a girlish grin. "I'd probably always be running around with a handkerchief, blowing someone's nose for them. I think was just destined to be a mother."
What a waste . . . when you could have had all of Europe at your feet, like the illustrious Mrs. Candee." He was teasing, but he was also very much in love with her, as she was with him.
I'd rather have you, Bertram Winfield. I don't need all that."
I suppose I should be grateful." He smiled down at her, thinking of the years they had shared, the happiness, the joys, the sorrows. They had a good life, and they were not only lovers but good friends.
I hope Edwina and Charles have what we do one day." She spoke quietly, and this time Bert knew she meant it.
So do I." And despite the chill air that had come on them that afternoon, he stopped and pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her hard. "I want you to know how much I love you," he whispered to her, and she smiled. He looked much more serious than usual, and she gently touched his face before kissing him again.
Are you alright?" He seemed so intense, which was unusual for him.
He nodded. "Yes, I am . . . but sometimes it doesn't hurt to say the words instead of just think them." They walked on and in hand. It was Sunday afternoon, and that morning they had attended Captain Smith's divine service and prayed for Those at Sea." It was a quiet day, and it was growing so cold that almost everyone had gone indoors now. They stopped and looked at the gym, and saw Mrs. Candee there, with young ugh Woolner. Bertram and Kate walked on after that, and finally decided to go inside for tea. It was just too cold to stay outside any longer.
And once inside, they noticed John Jacob Astor having tea with his young wife, Madeleine, in a corner of the lounge, and then they saw George, with Alexis in tow, having tea with two elderly ladies across the room.
Will you look at him?" Bert grinned. "God only knows what that boy is going to do when he grows up. I shudder to Think sometimes." He left Kate at their table in the lounge, and went over to introduce himself to the two elderly ladies who ere entertaining his children. He thanked them profusely for their kindness, and eventually brought the children back to the table where Kate was waiting for them. "What on earth are you doing here?" He asked on the way back, and with a look of amusement at Alexis who had seemed quite comfortable with two strangers, which was rare for her, "And what did you do with Oona?" George was perfectly happy to answer.
She went to visit her cousin downstairs, and she left the little ones with a stewardess. I told her I was bringing Alexis to you," he said, shrugging happily, "and she believed me."
George took me to the gym," Alexis announced proudly, and the swimming pool, and we rode up and down in all the levators. And then he told me we'd have to find someone to I've us little cakes, so we did. They were very nice," she announced matter-of-factly with her angelic face, satisfied wither big adventure. "I told them that tomorrow is my birthday." which was true. Kate had ordered a birthday cake for her the day before, and Charles Joughin, the head baker, had promised o make it with white icing and pink roses, and it was going to be a surprise for Alexis.
Well, I'm glad you two had such a lovely time." Bert was still amused by them, and even Kate laughed as she listened to Alexis's descriptions of what they'd done. "But perhaps next time you'd better come with us, instead of inviting yourselves out with strangers." George grinned at them both, and Alexis cuddled up to Kate, who gently kissed her cheek, and held her close to her. Alexis loved being near to her mother like that, she loved her warmth and her softness, and the feel of her air when she turned her head, and the smell of her perfume.
There was a special bond between the two. There was no denying it, it just was, and it didn't mean Kate loved the others less.
It just meant that at certain times, Alexis was very special. Kate loved all of the others, too, but there was a kind of need Alexis had for her that none of the others seemed to have, which was just as well. It was as though Alexis had never quite pulled away from her, and perhaps she never would, and perhaps, Kate sometimes thought, perhaps she would never have to. At times Kate hoped that she could keep her close to her forever, particularly if Edwina went to live in England.
Edwina and Charles came into the lounge from outdoors a little while later, after their stroll. They waved as they saw Bert and Kate.
Edwina was still trying to warm her hands as he approached them.
It's freezing out there, isn't it, Mama?" Edwina was smiling again.
She was always smiling now. Kate thought that she had never seen anyone as happy, except herself maybe when she married Bert. It was almost as though they were made for each other. And Mrs. Straus had mentioned it, too, she had noticed the young couple more than once, and commented on them to Kate, about what a lovely young couple they made, and she hoped they would be very happy.

I wonder why it's so cold," Edwina said to her father as they ordered tea and buttered toast. "It's much colder than it was this morning."
Our course is quite far north. If we keep an eye out tonight, we might even see a few little growlers," he said, referring to tiny icebergs.
Is that dangerous?" Edwina looked concerned, as their tea and toast arrived, but her father shook his head reassuringly.
It's not dangerous to a ship like this. You've heard what they say about the Titanic. She's unsinkable. It would take a lot ore than an iceberg to sink a ship like this, and besides I'm sure that if there is any concern, the captain is proceeding with great caution." In fact, they had been going close to twenty-three knots all day, which was a good speed for the Titanic. And that afternoon, as they sipped tea and ate toast, the Titanic had already received three ice warnings from other ships, the Baronia, the Baltic, and the Amerika, but Captain Smith didn't feel he had to, he was keeping a careful watch on all conditions. He was one of White star's most experienced captains. And after years with the line, he was prestigious trip.
Bruce Ismay, the head of the White Star Line, was on board too. And he had seen one of the ice warnings earlier as well. He had pocketed it after he and the captain had discussed it.
Kate put the children to bed herself that night, because Oona had gone back to steerage again to visit her cousin, and a stewardess had promised to baby-sit until she returned. But ate didn't really mind.
She liked taking care of the children herself, actually she preferred it. She noticed though that it was even colder than it had been earlier, as she took out extra blankets and tucked the children in more warmly.
When they went to the A Ia Carte Restaurant that night, and stepped outside for just a second to get some air, it seemed o be absolutely freezing. They were chatting on the way to inner about Phillip's having found a girl. For several days, he had been staring at her from the deck above. She was in second class, and she was a lovely-looking girl, but there was no way he was ever going to meet her. She had glanced shyly up at him several times, and he dutifully went back to the same spot every day in the hope that he would see her again. And today, Kate feared that he had caught a dreadful cold standing out in the freezing weather. But the girl had apparently been a great deal more sensible, or perhaps her parents were. She hadn't shown up, and Phillip had been depressed all afternoon, and finally decided not to come to dinner at all.
Poor thing," Edwina sympathetically said to her mother s they took their seats at the table. Her father was having a word with Mr.
Guggenheim, and then stopped briefly to say something to W. T. Stead, the well-known journalist and writer. He had written several articles for the Winfield newspaper in San Francisco several years before. And then finally, Bertram joined them.
Who was that man you were talking to, dear?" Kate was furious. She had recognized Stead, but she didn't know the other man.
Benjamin Guggenheim. I met him in New York a number of years ago," he explained, but on this subject he did not appear to be expansive. And Kate knowingly wondered if it was because of the woman he was with, a striking blonde, but something told her she was not his wife, and when she asked, her husband did not look inclined to discuss it with her.
Is that Mrs. Guggenheim?"
I don't believe so." The subject was closed, and Bert turned to Charles and asked if he had correctly guessed the day's run. It was five hundred and forty-six miles that day, and Bert had not guessed it correctly yet, but Charles had, and had on a little money doing so, on the first day.
The crossing had actually been a wonderful opportunity for them to get to know each other. And thus far, Bert and Kate liked what they had seen of Charles, and knew that their daughter was going to be very happy once they were married.
Can I interest anyone in a brisk walk?" Bert suggested when they left the nightly concert in the reception room, but when they set foot outside, it was much too cold. It was absolutely glacial, and the stars were shining brightly.
My God, it's cold," Kate shivered despite her furs. "It's unbelievably cold tonight." But the night was crystal clear, and what none of them knew was that the radio operator had gotten warnings from two more ships, during dinner, about nearby icebergs. But all concerned were certain they had nothing to fear.
It was ten-thirty when they went downstairs to B Deck, and Bert and Kate chatted softly while they undressed, as Charles and Edwina continued talking over champagne in the parlor they all shared.
It was eleven when Kate and Bertram went to bed, and turned off the light, at approximately the same moment that the nearby Cahjornian radioed the Titanic about the ice they had just seen. But the Titanic's radio operator, Phillips, was frantically exchanging personal messages from the passengers o the relay station at Cape Race in Newfoundland.
Phillips had sharply told the Cahjornian not to interrupt him. He had dozens of messages from passengers yet to send, and he had heard about the ice before. But this time he did not think it necessary to warn the captain. The captain had seen the same messages before, too, and had not been impressed by them, so the Cahjornian rang off, and did not give this particular iceberg's location. Phillips went on sending his messages to Cape Race, and Kate and Bertram drifted off to sleep, while the children dreamed in their rooms nearby and Edwina and Charles nestled together on the couch in the parlor and talked about their hopes and dreams as the hour approached midnight. they were still talking when there was a faint shudder of the ship, a kind of jarring, as though they'd hit something, but there was no major jolt, and nothing dramatic occurred. So they both knew that whatever it was, it couldn't have been very important. They continued talking for a few minutes after that, and then suddenly Edwina realized that a certain hum was one, and with it a familiar impression of vibration.
The ship had stopped, and for the first time Charles looked concerned.
Do you think something's wrong?" Edwina looked worried, as he glanced out the window on the starboard side, but he could see nothing.
I don't think so. You heard what your father told you today. This ship's unsinkable. They're probably just resting the engines, or changing course, or readjusting something. I'm sure it's nothing." But he picked up his coat anyway, and kissed her gently on the lips. "I'll go take a look and let you know what it s in a minute."
I'll come too."
It's too cold outside, Edwina. You stay here."
Don't be silly. It's colder than this at my uncle Rupert's house, inside, over breakfast." He smiled, and helped her into her mother's fur coat. He was sure that nothing was wrong. and whatever it was, he was sure they were readjusting it, and they'd be on their way again before long.
In the halls, they encountered other curious passengers, like themselves, people in nightgowns and fur coats, still in white tie and ballgowns, or bathrobes and bare legs. It seemed that a number of people, including John Jacob Astor, sensed something amiss and wanted to know what had happened. But tour around the deck told them nothing more except what they already knew, that the ship was stopped, and three of the our great funnels were blowing steam into the night sky. But there appeared to be no visible sign of danger. There were no great mysteries to be solved, nothing major seemed to be amiss, and a steward finally explained that they had "struck a little ice," but there was nothing to worry about.
Mr. Astor went back to his wife, and Charles and Edwina went back inside to et out of the cold, and were told that they had nothing to fear.
In fact, if they wanted to see it, a little bit of the ice could still be seen in the third-class recreation area, and there were people on deck, facing the stern, watching the steerage passengers far below throw snowballs and chunks of ice as they laughed. ut the thrill of that did not appeal to Charles or Edwina and having determined that nothing was seriously amiss, they decided to go back to their staterooms. It was five minutes before midnight by then, and when they got back to their private parlor, they found Bertram waiting for them with a worried frown.
Is something wrong with the ship?" He was whispering because his wife was still asleep, but he'd been worried since the engines stopped.
Doesn't appear to be," Charles answered right away, dropping his heavy coat on a chair, as Edwina peeled off her mother's fur coat.
"Apparently, we've hit some ice, but no one seems particularly concerned. The crew seem to be taking it in stride, and there's nothing to see on deck." Charles looked reared, and Bertram seemed relieved.
He felt a little foolish for being worried about it now, but he was a man with a family, and he had wanted to be sure that all was well. He said good night to them then, told Edwina not to stay up too late, and went back to bed, at exactly 12:03, just as far below the decks the stokers fought furiously to put out the huge ship's fires in her boilers, and water gushed across the mail room floor. The Titanic had indeed hit an iceberg and her first five so-called watertight compartments were full of water, from the gash the iceberg had caused.
On the bridge, Captain Smith, Bruce Ismay, the head of the White Star Line, and Thomas Andrews, the ship's builder, stood in disbelief and tried to determine just how desperate was the situation.
Andrews's conclusions were far from cheering. There was no way around it, with five of her compartments filled with water, the Titanic could not stay afloat for long. The unsinkable ship was sinking. They thought they could keep her afloat for a while, but no one could be sure how long, and as Bertram infield went back to bed, he thought for just an instant that the floor beneath his feet was listing slightly, but he was certain he was mistaken. and five minutes after midnight, at Thomas Andrews's urging, Captain Smith looked at the officers on the bridge and old them to uncover the lifeboats. There had been no lifeboat drill until then, no practice, no warnings, no preparation. This was the ship that could not sink, the ship they would never have to worry about, and now all the first-class stewards were knocking on doors, and in an instant Bert was back in the room. He had heard the voices the minute Charles opened the door to the parlor, but he couldn't hear the words. And now he heard them all too clearly. The steward was smiling, and speaking to them gently, as though they were all children and he wanted them to listen to him, but he didn't want them to be startled or frightened. Yet it was obvious, too, that he wanted them to do as they were told, and quickly.
Everyone up on deck, with life belts on. Right now!" There were no bells, no sirens, no general alarm. In fact, the silence was eerie, but the look in the steward's eyes said that he meant it, and Edwina could feel herself move into another gear, the way she did when one of the children was hurt, and she suddenly knew that she had to move quickly to give her mother hand with the others.
Do I have time to change?" Edwina asked the steward before he moved on to the next room, but he only shook his head and tossed the words back over his shoulder.
"I don't think so. Just stay as you are, and put your life belt on.
It'll help keep you warm. Just a precaution, but you must go up now."
He was gone then, and for a fraction of a moment she looked at Charles and he squeezed her hand, as her father went to wake her mother and the children. Oona was back by then, but like Kate and the children, she was fast asleep in her cabin.
"I'll help you get the children up," Charles offered, and went to Phillip and George, got their life belts out for them, and urged them to hurry, while attempting not to frighten them too much, but it was difficult not to. Only George thought it sounded like good fun, but poor Phillip looked terribly worried as he slipped the life belt over his clothes and Charles showed him how to work it.
Edwina woke Alexis up first, with a gentle shake, and a quick kiss, and then she simply lifted Fannie from her bed, and gently shook Oona's arm, but the girl was looking wild-eyed as Edwina tried to explain to her what had happened, without panicking the children.
"Where's Mama?" Alexis looked terrified, and she ran back to bed as Edwina told Oona to get Teddy, and just then Kate came out of their bedroom, pulling her dressing gown over her nightgown, looking sleepy but composed, and Alexis flew into her arms with a vengeance.
"What's going on?" Kate looked confused as her eyes went from her husband to her daughter, and then to Charles. "Did I miss something rather crucial while I was asleep?" She felt as though she'd woken in the middle of a drama and she had no idea what it was that had happened.
"I'm not sure." Bertram was honest with her. "All I know is that we've hit some ice, they claim it's not serious, or at least that was what they told Charles half an hour ago, but now they want us all up on deck, in life vests, at our lifeboat stations.
"I see." Kate was already looking around the room, and glanced at Edwina's feet as she did. She was wearing gossamer-thin silver sandals with delicate heels, and her feet would have been frozen in less than five minutes on deck. "Edwina, change your shoes. Oona, put your coat on, and put the life vests on Fannie and Teddy at once." But Charles was already helping her, as Bertram went to put trousers over his pajamas and exchange his slippers for socks and shoes. He put on a sweater that he had brought and not yet worn, and then put on his coat and his life vest, and he brought a warm wool dress to Kate in the room where she was helping Alexis dress, and as he did, he was suddenly aware that the floor beneath his feet was now sloping more acutely, and for the first time since he'd woken up, he was secretly frightened.
"Come on, children, hurry up," he said, trying to appear confident when he wasn't. Phillip and George were set.
Edwina had brogues and her own coat on now, over her blue satin evening dress, and Charles had successfully helped her get clothes and life vests on Fannie and Teddy and Alexis. Only Oona was running around in bare feet and her nightgown.
And Kate was pulling the heavy traveling dress Bert had handed her over her dressing gown, as she stepped into walking shoes, and then struggled into her fur coat.
"You have to dress," Edwina hissed at Oona, not wanting to frighten the children more than they were, but wanting to impress on her the importance of the situation.
"Oh, Alice . . . I must go to my cousin Alice, and little Mary . .
."
She was half crying and wringing her hands as she ran around the cabin.
"You'll do no such thing, Oona Ryan. You'll put your clothes on and come with us," Kate snapped. She was still holding Alexis by the hand, and although the child was terrified, she was no longer protesting.
She knew she would be fine, as long as she was with her mother and father. They were all ready, except for Oona, who was suddenly too frightened to join them.
"I can't swim . . . I can't swim . .." she cried.
"Don't be ridiculous." Kate grabbed her arm, and motioned to Edwina to start out with the others. "You don't need to swim, Oona. All you have to do is come with me. We're going upstairs in a moment. But first you are going to put your dress on." She put a wool dress of her own over the girl's head then, knelt at her feet and helped her slip on shoes, put one of her own coats over the girl's shoulders, grabbed a life vest, and within a matter of minutes they were just behind the others.
But now the corridors were crowded with people heading for the decks, in equally peculiar outfits, with life vests and worried faces, although some laughed and said they thought it was all very foolish.
It was twelve-fifteen by then, and Wireless Operator Phillips was making his first call for help, as the water level below decks rose rapidly higher, and much faster than Captain Smith had expected. After all, it was only half an hour since they'd hit the berg. But the squash court was filled to the ceiling by then, and Fred Wright, the squash pro, said nothing of it to young Phillip when he saw him on the way to the lifeboats.
"Should I have taken any of my jewelry with me?" Kate suddenly asked Bert worriedly. It was the first time she had even thought of it, and she didn't want to go back now. She had worn only her wedding ring, and it was all she really cared about or wanted.
"Don't worry about it." He smiled and squeezed her hand." I'll buy .." He didn't want to say "lose," for fear of what that implied. He was suddenly terrified of what was going to happen to his wife and their children.
They went all the way up to the Boat Deck, and when Bert glanced into the gym, he could see John Jacob Astor and his wife, sitting quietly on the mechanical horses. He wanted her out of the cold, for fear that being frightened and cold might cause her to lose the baby.
They were both wearing life vests, and he had a third one across his lap, and as they talked, he was playing with his penknife. The Winfields walked on past the gym then, and they came out on the port side, where the crew were uncovering eight wooden lifeboats as the band started to play. There were another eight being uncovered on the starboard side as well, four toward the bow, four toward the stern, and there were also four canvas collapsible lifeboats. It was not a cheering sight, and as Bert watched them prepare the boats, he could feel his heart pound as he held his wife's hand tightly in his own.
She was holding Fannie in one arm, and Alexis was standing as close to her as she could, while Phillip carried little Teddy. They stood closely huddled together in the cold, unable to believe that on this vast, indomitable ship they were actually uncovering the lifeboats and standing there in the middle of the night waiting to load them. There were murmured voices in the crowd, and a moment later, Kate saw Phillip talking to a boy he had befriended at the beginning of the trip. His name was Jack Thayer and he was from Philadelphia. His parents had been to a dinner party that night given by the Wideners, also of Philadelphia, for the captain. But Jack hadn't joined them, and he was talking to Phillip now, the two boys smiled for a moment, and then Jack moved toward another group, still looking for his parents. Kate saw the Allisons of Montreal, as well, with little Lorraine clutching her mother's hand and her beloved dolly. They were hanging back from the others, with Mrs. Allison holding tightly to her husband's arm, and the governess holding the little boy in her arms, bundled up in a blanket, to protect him from the icy air of the North Atlantic.
Second Officer Lightoller was in charge of loading the lifeboats on the port side, and everywhere around him there was polite confusion. There had never been a lifeboat drill, nor were there lifeboat assignments for anyone but the crew, and even they weren't quite sure of where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to be doing. Small groups of men were uncovering each of the lifeboats at random, and tossing in lanterns and tins of biscuits, but the crowds were still holding back as crewmen moved to the davits and began turning the cranks that swung the lifeboats out and then lowered them to where they could be boarded by the extremely hesitant group that stood and watched them. The band was playing ragtime, and Alexis began to cry then, but Kate was holding tightly to her hand and stooped to remind her that at this very moment, it was already her birthday, and later that day there would be presents, and perhaps even a cake.
"And later today, when we're all safely back on the ship, you'll have a very beautiful birthday." Kate settled Fannie on her hip again, and pulled Alexis closer to her, as she glanced at her husband. He was trying to listen to what was being said in the groups around them, to see if anyone had any information he hadn't yet heard. But no one seemed to know what was going on, except that they were actually going to load the lifeboats, women and children first, and no men whatsoever at this time. Just then, the band began to play even louder and Kate smiled at all of them, belying the terror that was beginning to gnaw at her as she looked at the lifeboats. "Nothing can be very wrong, or the band wouldn't be playing such pretty music, would they?" She exchanged a long look with Bertram then, and knew that he was frightened too, but there was very little that they could say now with their children all around them.
And everything seemed to be happening so quickly.
Edwina was standing close to Charles, and he was chatting with a few young men. She and Charles were holding hands in the chill night air.
She had forgotten to bring gloves, and he was trying to warm her icy fingers by holding them in his own.
They called out for the women and children then, and everyone seemed to hang back as Second Officer Lightoller told them to step forward quickly. No one could bring themselves to believe that there was really any danger. A number of women seemed to hesitate, and then their husbands took charge.
Messrs. Kenyon, Pears, and Wick led their wives forward and assisted them in, as the wives begged them not to make them go without them.
"Don't be foolish, ladies," someone's husband said for all to hear, "we'll all be back on the ship in time for breakfast.
Whatever the trouble is, they'll have sorted it out by then, and think of the adventure you "Il have had." He sounded so jovial that some laughed, and a few more women timidly stepped forward. Many of them brought their maids with them, but the husbands were clearly told to stand back. They were loading women and children only. Lightoller would tolerate no man's even thinking of getting into a lifeboat.
Despite the women's protests that their husbands could help row, Lightoller was having none of it. It was women and children only. And as he said the words again, Oona looked at Kate suddenly and started to cry.
"I can't, ma'am . . . I can't . . . I can't swim . . . and Alice .
. . and Mary . .." She began to back away from them, and Kate saw that she was going to start running. She moved away from Alexis briefly then, and tried to comfort Oona as she walked calmly toward her, but suddenly with a great shriek she was gone, running as fast as she could, down into the bowels of the ship, to find the door through which she had previously passed to enter steerage to visit her cousin and her little girl.
"Shall I go after her?" Phillip asked his mother with worried eyes as she walked back to where the children stood, and Kate looked anxiously up at Bertram. Little Fannie was whimpering by then, and Edwina was now holding baby Teddy in her arms. But Bertram didn't want any of them running after Oona. If she was foolish enough to run back, she would have to board a lifeboat on another part of the ship and rejoin them later. He didn't want any of them getting lost, it was imperative that they all stay together.
Kate hesitated, and then turned to him. "Can't we wait? I don't want to leave you. Perhaps if we wait, they'll call the whole thing off, and we won't have to put the children through all this for nothing."
But as she spoke, the deck slanted even farther, and Bertram knew that this was no longer an exercise.
This was serious, and any delay on their part might be fatal.
What he didn't know was that on the bridge, Thomas Andrews had informed Captain Smith that they had little more than an hour or so to stay afloat, and there were lifeboats for less than half the people on board the ship. Frantic efforts were being made to reach the cahjornian, only ten miles away, but she couldn't be roused, despite the radio operator's frantic efforts.
"I want you to go now, Kate." Bert said the words quietly, and she looked into her husband's eyes and was frightened by what she saw there. She saw that he was worried and afraid, more afraid than she had ever seen him. And with that, she instinctively turned to look for Alexis, who had been next to her only a moment before. For once, she wasn't buried in her mother's skirts, and Kate had let go of her hand when she had hurried after Oona. But now as Kate turned to look, Alexis wasn't there. Kate turned around several times, glanced around in the crowd, and looked over at Edwina to see if she was with her, but Edwina was quietly talking to Charles, while George stood by looking tired and cold and less excited than he had half an hour before. But he cheered up visibly as an explosion of rockets flew up high into the air, lighting the night sky all around them. It was 12:45 by then, barely more than an hour after they'd hit the iceberg that everyone had said couldn't harm them.
"What does that mean, Bert?" Kate whispered, still glancing everywhere distractedly for Alexis. Perhaps she was talking to the Allison child, or comparing dolls, as they'd done before.
"It means this is very serious, Kate." Bert explained the rockets to her. "You must get off with the children at once."
And this time she knew that he meant it. He held her hand tightly in his own and there were tears in his eyes.
"I don't know where Alexis has gone," Kate said, with a tone of rising panic in her voice, and Bert looked frantically over the crowd from his height, but still didn't see her. "I think she must be hiding. I was holding her hand until I ran after Oona. . .." Tears sprang into her eyes. "Oh, my God, Bert where is she? Where could she have gone?"
"Don't worry, I'll find her. You stay here with the others."
He pressed through the crowd, and he walked through every group, glanced into every corner, running from one cluster of people to another. But Alexis was nowhere. He hurried back to Kate then, and as she stood holding the baby, and trying to keep track of George at the same time, frantic eyes looked up at her husband, asking a question, but he only shook his head in answer. "Not yet," was his only answer, "but she can't have gone far. She never goes very far from you." But he looked worried and distracted.

"She must have gotten lost." Kate was on the verge of tears. This was no time for a six-year-old child to disappear in the tense moments as the Titanic's passengers boarded the lifeboats.
"She must be hiding." Bert frowned unhappily. "You know how afraid she is of the water." And how afraid she had been to come on the ship, and how Kate had reassured her that nothing could possibly happen. But it had, and now she had disappeared, as Lightoller called out for more women and children, and the band played on beside them. "Kate . .
."
Bert looked at her, but he already knew that she wouldn't leave without Alexis, if at all.
"I can't . .." She was looking all around, and overhead the flares were exploding like cannons.
"Send Edwina then." Perspiration stood out on Bertram's face, this was a nightmare they had never dreamed of. And as the deck continued to tilt beneath their feet, he knew that the unsinkable ship was sinking fast. He moved closer to his wife, and gently took little Teddy from her, unconsciously kissing the curls that fell over his forehead from under the wool cap Oona had put on him when they woke him in the cabin.
"Edwina can take the little ones with her. And you go in the next boat with Alexis."
"And you?" Kate's face was deathly pale in the eerie white reflection of the rockets, as the band moved from ragtime to waltzes. "And George and Phillip?",. . . and Charles .
"They won't let the men on yet," Bert answered her question. "You heard what the man said. Women and children first.
Phillip, George, Charles, and I will join you later." There was, in fact, a large group of men standing beside them now, waving at their wives as the lifeboat filled slowly. It was five minutes after one, and the night air seemed to be getting even colder, as the women continued to beg Second Officer Lightoller to allow their husbands to join them, but he wouldn't have it. And he sternly waved the men back, looking as though he would brook no nonsense.
Kate moved swiftly toward Edwina then, and told her what Bert had just said. "Papa wants you to get in the lifeboat with Fannie and Teddy.
And George," she added suddenly.
She wanted him to at least try to go with the others. He was a child, too, after all. He was only twelve. And Kate was determined to get him into a lifeboat with Edwina.
"What about you?" Edwina was startled, as she looked at her mother, shocked at the prospect of leaving the rest of her family on the ship, and taking only George and the two youngest with her.
"I'll come in the next one with Alexis," Kate said calmly.
"I'm sure she's hiding right here, she's just frightened to come forward because she doesn't want to get in the lifeboat." Kate felt slightly less confident than that, but she didn't want to communicate her panic to her eldest daughter. She wanted her to get in the lifeboat with the little ones. And it was no help that Oona had deserted them. Kate wondered how she was faring in steerage with her cousin. "George can help you until Papa and I come." But George groaned at the prospect, he wanted to stay till the end with the men, but Kate was firm as she led them all back to Bert, and Charles and Phillip followed.
"Have you found her yet?" Kate asked her husband, referring to Alexis while nervously glancing everywhere, but there was no sign of her anywhere. And Kate was anxious now for the others to get in the lifeboat so she could help Bert in his search for Alexis. But he was thinking of the others now. Lightoller was about to lower lifeboat number eight, the other women that were going were already in, although there were still a number of empty places. There would also have been enough room for the men, but no one would have dared challenge the intense little second officer's commands. There was talk of drawing guns if any of the men tried to board the lifeboat, and no one was anxious to challenge him to do that.
"Four more!" Bert called out to him as Edwina looked frantically at her parents, and beyond them at Charles, watching her in silent anguish.
"But . .." She didn't even have time to speak as her father pushed her toward number eight with Fannie and George and baby Teddy in her arms.
"Mama . . . can't I wait for you? . .." Tears sprang into her eyes, and for an instant she looked as she had as a child, as her mother put her arms around her and looked into her eyes.
Teddy started to cry then, and reached his chubby little arms out to his mother again.
"No, baby, go with Edwina . . . Mama loves you . .
Kate crooned and she touched his face with her own, then kissed his cheek and his little hands, and then, with both hands she touched Edwina's face, looking tenderly at her oldest daughter. There were tears in her eyes, and this time they were not tears of fear, but of sorrow. "I'll be with you every minute.
I love you, sweet girl, with all my heart. Whatever happens, take good care of them." And then she whispered, "Be safe, and I'll see you in a little while." But for an instant, Edwina wondered if her mother really believed that, and suddenly she knew she didn't want to go without her.
"Oh, Mama . . . no . . ' Edwina clutched at her, with little Teddy in her arms, and suddenly they were both crying for their mother, as the men's powerful arms grabbed her and George and Fannie, and Edwina's eyes flew wildly between her mother, her father, and Charles. She hadn't even had a chance to say good-bye to him, and she called out, "I love you," as he blew her a kiss and waved and suddenly his gloves came hurtling toward her. She caught them just as she sat down, never taking her eyes from his. He was staring at her strangely, as though he didn't want to let go of her with his eyes. "Be brave, dear girl.
We'll be with you in a minute," he called out, and at the same instant, the lifeboat was lowered, and Edwina could barely see them. She glanced from her mother to her father to Charles, tears streaming from her eyes, until she couldn't see them anymore. Kate could still hear little Teddy crying as she gave a last wave, fighting back her own tears, as she stood on deck, holding tightly to her husband's hand.
Lightoller had balked when they'd put George in the lifeboat, but Bert had been quick to say he was not yet twelve. And he didn't wait for the second officer to comment as he lifted his son into the lifeboat.
He had lied by two months, but Bert had feared he might not get George on if he admitted his correct age. George himself had begged to stay with his father and Phillip, but Bert thought Edwina might need his help with the two others.
"I love you, children," Bert whispered, staring at them till they were gone, as the lifeboat approached the water. Bert had shouted down his last words to them, "Mama and I will be along soon," and then turned away so they wouldn't see him crying.
And Kate gave an almost animal groan as they lowered the boat toward the water, and at last she dared to look down. She squeezed Bertram's hand. She could see Edwina holding Teddy, and clinging to Fannie's hand, and George looked up at them as the boat creaked and dropped slowly to the surface of the water. It was a delicate maneuver and Lightoller looked like a surgeon performing a difficult operation, one swift move, one careless gesture and the lifeboat would overturn on the way down, spilling its passengers into the icy water. And the voices below all shouted up at them, a mixture of frantic words, last messages, and I love you's. And then suddenly before they were halfway down, Kate recognized Edwina calling. She saw her waving frantically and nodding her head and pointing.
DANIELLE STEEL And as Kate looked to the front of the lifeboat, she saw her.
The halo of blond curls was turned away, but there was no mistaking Alexis huddled at the front of the lifeboat. And Kate felt a wave of relief pass over her as she shouted down to Edwina, "I see her! . .
.
I see her! . . ' She was safe, with the others . . . five children, her five precious babies all in one lifeboat. Now all she had to do was get off with Phillip and her husband, and Charles. He was chatting quietly with some of the other men, who had just put their wives in the lifeboat, and they were reassuring each other that everything would be fine, and they would all be off the ship shortly.
"Oh, thank God, Bert, she found her." Kate was so relieved to know where Alexis was that her whole body visibly relaxed in spite of the continuing tension. "Why on earth would she get into the lifeboat without us?"
"Maybe someone grabbed her and put her in when she walked away from us, and she was too frightened to speak up.
Whatever, she's safe now. Now I want you off next. Is that clear?"
He sounded stern only to mask his own fears, but she knew him better than that.
"I don't see why I can't wait for you and Phillip and Charles. The children will be fine with Edwina." It was an unnerving feeling, thinking of all of them in the lifeboat without her, and yet now that she knew that Alexis was safe in her older sister's care, Kate wanted to stay with her husband. She shuddered at what it would have been like to not know that Alexis was safe, and she thanked God again that Edwina had been able to let her know Alexis was with her and all right.
The lifeboats below were moving away from the ship, and as number eight turned on the icy seas below, Edwina clutched little Teddy to her, and she tried to maneuver Fannie onto her lap as well, but the seats were too high, she could barely make it. She wanted to move toward the front to let Alexis know she 54 was there, but it was impossible to go anywhere, and George was busy rowing with the others. It made him feel important, and in truth, they needed his help. Finally, she asked one of the women to let Alexis know she was there, and watched pointedly as word was passed along toward the front of the lifeboat, and finally the little girl turned her head, so Edwina could see her, but as she did, Edwina gave a gasp. She was a beautiful child, and she was crying because she'd left her mother on the ship, but she wasn't Alexis. And Edwina knew she had done a terrible thing. She had told her mother that Alexis was there, and they wouldn't look for her now on the ship.
A sob broke from her as she stared, and little Fannie started to cry as Edwina clutched her to her.
And at that very moment, Alexis was sitting quietly in her stateroom.
She had slipped away when her mother let go of her hand and ran after Oona, and she had gone back as she'd wanted to from the first. She had left her beautiful doll in her bed, and she didn't want to leave the ship without her. And once she had gone back to her room, the doll was there, and it seemed so much quieter here, and so much less scary than on deck. She wouldn't have to get in a lifeboat now, or fall in that ugly, dark water. She could just wait here until it was all over and everyone came back. She would just sit here, with her doll, Mrs.
Thomas. She could hear the band playing upstairs and the sounds of ragtime came drifting in the open windows, and voices and cries and murmurs. There was no running in the corridor now.
Everyone was on deck, saying good-bye to loved ones and hurrying into lifeboats, as the rockets continued to explode overhead, and the radio operator tried frantically to bring nearby ships to their aid. The Frankfurt was the first to reply, at 12:18, then the Mount Temple, the Virginian, and the Birma, but there had been no word at all from the Californian since eleven o'clock when she had warned them of the iceberg and Phillips had snapped at her radio operator not to interrupt him. Ever since then, her radio had been silent. In truth, her radio was shut off. But she was the only ship close enough to help them, and there seemed no way to raise her at all. Even the rockets were to no avail. All those who saw them, on the Cahjornian, only assumed that they were part of the festivities on the much celebrated maiden voyage.
And it never dawned on anyone for a moment that they were sinking.
Who would ever have thought it?
At 12:25, the Carpathia, only fifty-eight miles away, contacted them and promised to come as quickly as she could. By then, the Olympic, the Titanic's sister ship, had chimed in, too, but she was five hundred miles away and too far to help at the moment.
Captain Smith was stepping in and out of the radio shack by then, and after watching Wireless Operator Phillips send the standard distress signal, CQD, he urged them to try the new call signal SOS as well, in the hope that even amateurs might hear it. Any assistance at all would have been welcome and was direly needed now. It was 12:45 A. M. when the first SOS was sent, and at that moment, Alexis was alone in the silent stateroom, playing with her doll and humming softly as she sat quietly, continuing to play. She knew she would be scolded later when they all came back, but maybe they wouldn't be too angry at her for running away, because after all today was her birthday. She was six years old now, and her dolly was much older. She liked to say that Mrs. Thomas was twenty-four. She was a grown-up.
On deck, Lightoller was filling another lifeboat, and on the starboard side, several men were climbing into the lifeboats now too. But on the port side, Lightoller was still strictly adhering to women and children only. The second-class lifeboats were being filled as well, and in third class, some of the passengers were breaking through barriers and locked doors, in the hope of boarding in second class or even first, but they had no idea where to go, or how to get there. Members of the crew were threatening to shoot them if they attempted to make their way through the ship, because they were afraid of looting and property damage aboard. The crewmen were telling them to go back the way they had come, as people shrieked and cried and begged to come past the crew members keeping them from the first-class lifeboats. One Irish girl, with another girl her own age, and a little girl, was insisting that she had come from first class in the first place, but the deckhand stolidly kept them from leaving third, he knew better than to believe her.
Kate and Bert walked into the gym for a minute then, to get warm again and escape the agonies of the tears and goodbyes and the visible tension as Lightoller loaded another lifeboat. Phillip stayed outside on deck, with Jack Thayer and Charles, who were helping the women and children into the lifeboats. Dan Martin had just put his bride in the same lifeboat with Edwina, and another man had just sent his wife and baby off with them. And in the gym, Kate and Bert noticed that the Astors were still sitting on the mechanical horses and quietly talking.
She seemed in no hurry to get off, and he had their maid and valet on the deck, keeping an eye on the situation.
"Do you suppose the children are alright?" Kate looked worriedly at Bert in the gym, as he nodded, relieved that Edwina had found Alexis, and that at least five of the children had gotten off. He was still worried about getting Phillip and Kate off, and he was hoping that Lightoller would take Phillip in the end. There was less hope for Bert and Charles, and they both knew it.
"I think they'll be alright," Bert reassured his wife. "It's certainly an experience none of them will forget. Nor will I," he added with a serious look at Kate. "I think she's going to sink, you know." He had been sure of it for the last half hour, although none of the crew would admit it, and the band played on as if it were all in good fun though a slightly crazy evening.
And then, Bert looked at her pointedly and took one of her long, slim hands in his own and kissed the tips of her fingers. "I want you off in the next lifeboat, Kate. And I'm going to see if I can bribe them to take Phillip with you. He's only sixteen, they ought to be willing to take him. He's barely more than a child." The problem wasn't convincing her, it was convincing Lightoller.
"I don't see why we don't wait until they start boarding the men too, and I can go with you then. I can't help Edwina now anyway, we'd be in different lifeboats. And she's a very capable girl." Kate smiled, it was a terrible feeling not to be with them, yet she was sure that they'd be alright. She had to believe that. And Edwina was like another mother to them. All Kate had to worry about now was the safety of her oldest son, and her husband, and Edwina's fiance, Charles. Once they were in a lifeboat with her, she didn't give a damn what happened to the ship, as long as everyone got off safely, and she saw no reason why they would not. Everything seemed to be moving ahead calmly, and the lifeboats weren't even full as they lowered them, which had to mean that there was plenty of room for everyone, or they wouldn't have lowered them without filling them completely first. And she was sure they had hours before anything serious happened, if anything serious happened at all. There was a false aura of calm that led her to believe they had nothing to fear.
But on the bridge, Captain Smith knew the truth. It was well after one o'clock by then and the engine room was flooded.
There was no doubt that she was going down, the only question was how soon. And he was sure now that it wouldn't be long. Wireless Operator Phillips was sending frantic messages everywhere, and on the Cahjornian, their radio still turned off, they watched the rockets high above the Titanic without dreaming what they meant. They still thought she was celebrating.
At one point, they noticed that she had begun to look very strange, and one of their officers thought she was sitting in the water at an odd angle. But still it never dawned on them that she was sinking. And the Olympic radioed and wanted to know if the Titanic was coming to meet them. No one understood what was happening, or how fast they were going down. It was inconceivable to all that the "unsinkable" ship, the biggest ship afloat, was actually sinking. In fact, she was already halfway there.
And this time, when Bert and Kate stepped out of the gym again, the atmosphere was very different. People were no longer calling out to each other quite so gaily, and husbands were begging their wives to be brave and leave the ship in the lifeboats without them. And when the women refused, the husbands forced them into crewmen's arms, and more than one woman was tossed unwillingly into a lifeboat. Lightoller, on the port side, was still following the rule of women and children only, but on the starboard side, for a few men there was hope, particularly if they claimed to know something about boats. They needed all the help they could get to row them. A few people were openly crying now and there were heartwrenching good-byes everywhere. Most of the children were gone, and Kate was relieved that theirs were, too, with the exception of Phillip, but he would leave with them. And then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw little Lorraine Allison clinging to her mother's hand on the deck, and it reminded her of Alexis, now safely off with her brothers and sisters in lifeboat number eight.
Mrs. Allison had kept Lorraine with her, and thus far she had refused to leave her husband, but she had put her younger child, Trevor, off with his nurse in one of the early lifeboats. More than once, Kate had seen families separate, and wives and children go on ahead, with the assumption that the husbands would get in the lifeboats that would leave the ship later. It was only toward the very end that it became obvious that almost all of the lifeboats were gone, and there were still almost two thousand people left on board with no way to escape, no way to flee the sinking ship. They were discovering what the captain, the builders, and the head of the White Star Line had known all along, that there weren't enough lifeboats for everyone. If the ship went down, most of them would drown, but who had ever thought the Titanic would sink and they would actually need the lifeboats in which to escape her?
The captain was still on the bridge, and Thomas Andrews, the managing director of the firm that had built the enormous ship, was still helping to load people into the lifeboats, as Bruce Ismay, head of the White Star Line, pulled his collar close around his neck and stepped into one of the lifeboats, and no one dared to say a word of challenge.
He was lowered to safety with the few chosen lucky ones, leaving close to two thousand souls doomed on the sinking Titanic.
"Kate . .." Bert was looking at her pointedly, as they watched the next lifeboat being swung out on the davits. "I want you to go in this one." But she quietly shook her head and looked at him, and this time when her eyes met his, they were quiet and strong. She had always obeyed him, but she knew she wouldn't this time, no matter what he said to sway her.
"I'm not leaving you," she spoke softly. "I want Phillip to go now.
But I'm staying here with you. We'll leave together when we can." Her back was very straight, and her eyes firmly locked in his. There was no changing her mind now, and he knew it. She had loved him and lived with him for twenty-two years, and she wasn't leaving him now at the eleventh hour. All but one of her children were safe, and she wouldn't leave her husband.
"And if we can't get off?" Ever since most of their children had gone, his own terror had dimmed a little bit, and he was able to say the words now. All he really wanted now was to get Phillip off with Kate, and Charles if he could. But he was willing to go down himself, as long as the rest of his family survived. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make for her, and for them, but he didn't want her to go too. It just wasn't fair to the children, or to her. The children needed her. And he wanted her to get off while she could. "I don't want you staying here, Kate."
"I love you." The words said everything.
"I love you too." He held her for a long moment, and silently thought about doing what he had seen others do, force her into the arms of a crewman who would literally throw her into a lifeboat. But he couldn't do that to her. He loved her too much, and they had lived together for too long. He respected what she wanted to do, even though in this case it could cost her her life. But it meant a lot to him that she was willing to die with him. They had always shared that kind of love, mixed with tenderness and passion.
"If you stay, I want to stay too." She said the words clearly as he held her close to him, willing her to go, yet not willing to force her into doing what she didn't want to. "If you die, I want to stay with you."
"You can't do that, Kate. I won't let you. Think of the children."
She already had, and she had made up her mind. She loved them with all her heart, but she loved him too and she belonged with him. He was her husband. And Edwina was old enough to take care of the children, if Kate died. And besides, deep down, she still thought they were all being melodramatic over all this. In the end, they'd all sit in the lifeboats, and they'd be back on the Titanic by lunchtime. She tried to say as much to Bert, but this time he shook his head. "I don't think so.
I think this is much worse than we've been told." And it was, much more so than either of them knew. At 1:40 A. M the crew on the bridge had just fired the last rocket, and now the last lifeboats were being filled, as in the stateroom, far below, unbeknownst to them, Alexis continued to play with her doll, Mrs. Thomas.
"I think you have a responsibility to the children," Bert went on.
"You must leave the ship." It was his last fervent try.
But she refused to hear him.
She squeezed his hands tight in her own and looked into his eyes.
"Bert Winfield, I will not leave you. Do you understand me?" Nearby, Mrs. Straus had just made the same choice, but she was older than Kate, and had no small children. But Mrs. Allison did, and she had decided to stay on with her husband and her little girl, and go down with both of them, if the ship went down, as people now understood it was going to.
"What about Phillip?" Bert decided to stop arguing with her for the moment, but he was still hoping to change her mind.
"Can't you do what you said, and bribe them to take Phillip on?" Kate asked.
They were boarding the last boat on the Boat Deck and there was still one more after that, number four, hanging off the glass partitions of the Promenade Deck, just below. But as Lightoller worked above on the Boat Deck, other crewmen were working to open the windows on the Promenade so that more women could be loaded into the lifeboat through the previously locked windows that, earlier, had gotten in their way.
This was going to be the last regular lifeboat to leave the Titanic.
Bert approached the officer cautiously, spoke to him as best he could as he continued to work furiously on the now seriously listing ship, and Kate saw Lightoller shake his head vehemently and glance over in Phillip's direction. Phillip was still standing with the Thayer boy, who was conversing quietly with his father.
"He says absolutely not, as long as there are women and children on the ship," Bert reported to her a moment later.

There were some loading now from second class, but all of the first-class children were off, with the exception of little Lorraine Allison, standing next to her mother and holding the doll that looked so much like the one carried everywhere by Alexis.
It made Kate smile briefly as she looked at her, and then away.
It was as though every scene one saw was too tender, too intimate, too private, to be looked upon by strangers.
And now there was a serious consultation between Phillip, Charles, Bert, and Kate, as to how to get the two younger men off, and if possible, also Bert and Kate, in spite of Lightoller.
"I think we'll just have to wait a little while," Charles said calmly, a gentleman to the end. Through it all, he had never lost his good manners or his good spirits. "But I do think that you, Mrs. Winfield, should get in one of the boats now. There's no point lingering here with the men." He smiled warmly at her, and for some reason realized for the first time how much she really looked like Edwina. "We'll be fine. But you might as well get off comfortably now, rather than in the last scramble with us. You know how dreadful men are. And if I were you, I'd give a go at taking our young friend here." But how?
The last boy his age who had attempted to get on, in women's dress, had been threatened at gunpoint, although they had finally decided to leave him in the lifeboat because there wasn't time to get him off. But feelings were running a little higher now, and Bert didn't want to tackle Lightoller again, he was clearly brooking no nonsense. None of them knew, of course, that things were slightly different on the starboard side. The ship was just too big for anyone to know that things were different on one side or the other. And as they discussed it, Kate still insisting to Bertram that she wouldn't leave him, Phillip wandered over to talk to Jack Thayer again. Charles sat down in a deck chair and lit a cigarette. He didn't want to intrude on Edwina's parents, even now, and they were clearly engaged in serious discussion, about whether or not Kate was going to get off. And Charles was filled with lonely thoughts of Edwina. He had no hope of getting off now.
Below decks, the cabins were all cleared, the crew had checked them all, and the water in the ship had risen to C Deck. And as she played with her doll in the parlor of the stateroom, Alexis could still hear the band playing pretty music. And every now and then, she would hear footsteps, as crew members dashed past or someone from second class ran by, looking for the way to the first-class Boat Deck. And Alexis was beginning to wonder when they would all come back. She was tired of playing alone, and she hadn't wanted to get in the lifeboat, but she was beginning to seriously miss her mommy and the others. But she knew that eventually, she'd be in for a scolding. They always scolded her when she ran away, especially Edwina.
She heard heavy footsteps then, and looked up, suddenly wondering if it was her father, or Charles, or even Phillip. But as she glanced up expectantly, a strange face appeared in the doorway. He looked shocked suddenly as he saw her. He was the last steward to leave the deck, and he had known long since that all of the B Deck cabins were empty. But he was checking them one last time before the water came up from C Deck and filled them. He was horrified to see the small child sitting there, playing with her dolly.
"Hey, there . . ' He took a rapid step toward her, as Alexis flew into the next room and started to close the door, but the heavyset steward with the full red beard was quicker than she was. "Just a minute, young lady, what are you doing here?" He wondered how she had escaped, and why no one had come looking for her. It seemed strange to him, and he wanted to get her up to the lifeboats quickly. "Come on .
. ' She had no hat, and no coat. She had abandoned them in her cabin when she'd come back to the stateroom to play with the doll she called "Mrs. Thomas."
"But I don't want to go!" She started to cry, as the big burly man swept her up in his arms, grabbing a blanket off one of the beds, and wrapping her in it, with the doll she still clung to. "I want to wait here! . . . I want my mommy!"
"We'll find your mommy, little one. But there's no time to waste." He ran up the stairs with his small bundle in his arms, and as he was about to pass the level of the Promenade Deck, one of the crew members called out to him.
"The last one's almost gone. No more lifeboats on the Boat Deck. The last one's off the Promenade, and they were about to lower it a minute ago . . . come on, man . . . hurry!"
The heavyset steward ran out onto the Promenade Deck in time to watch Lightoller and another man standing on a windowsill struggling with the davits of number four lifeboat, hanging right outside the open windows.
"Wait, man!" He shouted. "One more!" But Alexis was screaming and kicking and calling for her mother, who knew none of this, and thought Alexis long since safely stowed in another lifeboat.
"Wait!" Lightoller was already lowering the boat as the crewman ran to the open window with Alexis. "I've got one more!"
The second officer looked over his shoulder, and it was almost too late to stop now. He gestured with his head, as just below him the lifeboat hung in the balance, carrying with it the last women willing to leave the ship, and among them young Mrs. Astor, and Jack Thayer's mother.
John Jacob Astor had asked Lightoller if he might go with them, as his wife was in a "delicate state," but Lightoller had remained adamant, and Madeleine Astor had boarded with her maid instead of her husband.
The steward glanced down at the lifeboat just below them, and there was no way to bring it back up, and he didn't want to keep Alexis on the ship, so he looked down at her for an instant, and planted a kiss on her forehead as he would on his own child's, and then threw her from the window into the boat, praying that someone would catch her, and if not, she wouldn't fall too badly or break too many bones. There had already been several sprained ankles and broken wrists as people were pushed or thrown into boats, but as Alexis fell, one of the sailors at the oars reached up and broke her fall, as she lay screaming in the blanket, and only one deck above her, her unsuspecting mother stood quietly talking to her husband.
The heavyset steward watched from above as Alexis was safely stowed next to a woman with a baby, and then Lightoller and the others carefully lowered the boat the fifteen-foot drop toward the black icy sea. Alexis sat staring in terror, holding on to her doll, wondering if she would ever see her mother again, and she began to scream again as she looked at the huge ship looming up beside them, as they hit the water. The sailors and the women began to row almost immediately, and feeling as though something terrible were about to happen, Alexis watched the enormous ship as they moved slowly away from it.
At 1:55 A. M they were the last real lifeboat to leave the Titanic.
And at 2:00 A. M. Lightoller was still struggling with the four collapsible lifeboats, three of which could not be freed.
But collapsible D was finally lowered. And there was no doubt now that this would be the last chance for anyone to leave the ship, if they even made it, which seemed doubtful. A circle of crew members was formed around collapsible D, which was to allow only women and children through. Two unidentified babies were put in, and a number of women and children. And at the last instant, Bert finally induced Lightoller to let Phillip into that lifeboat. He was only sixteen, after all, and then collapsible D was gone too, precariously descending to join the others, as Bert and Kate watched it. And after that, the rescue efforts were over. There was nowhere to go, no way to escape, those who had not made it to the lifeboats would go down with the ship now.
And Bert still could not believe that Kate had refused to leave with Phillip. Bert had tried to push her into the boat before it was too late, but she had clung to him. And now he held her close in their final moments.
As the Strauses walked quietly arm in arm, Benjamin Guggenheim stood in full evening dress on the Boat Deck with his valet. And Bert and Kate kissed and held hands and stood talking quietly, about silly things, how they had met . . . their wedding day . . . and the births of their children.
"It's Alexis's birthday today," Kate said softly, as she looked up at Bert, remembering the day six years before, when Alexis had been born on a sunny Sunday morning in their house in San Francisco. Who would have thought then that this could ever happen? And it was a relief now just to know that their children would survive them, that they would be loved, and cherished, and well cared for by their oldest sister. It was a relief to Kate to know that now, but it made her heart ache to think of never seeing them again, and Bert fought back tears as he held her.
"I wish you had gone with them, Kate. They all need you so much." He was so sad that it had come to this, an end no one could have dreamed of. If only they had taken another ship home . . . if only the Titanic hadn't hit an iceberg . . . if only z . . if only . . . it was endless.
"I couldn't bear to live without you, Bert." She held him tight, and then reached up to kiss him. They kissed for a long time, and he held her close, as people started to jump from the ship. They watched, and saw Charles leap off. The Boat Deck was only ten feet above the water, and some were reaching the lifeboats safely, but he also knew that Kate couldn't swim, and there was no point trying to jump overboard yet.
They would do it when they had to, but not sooner. And they still hoped that perhaps, somehow, when the ship went down, they might reach the lifeboats around them, and survive it.
As they talked, efforts were being made to free two more of the collapsible lifeboats, but even once freed of the ropes that had secured it, it was impossible to get collapsible B off the deck, given the extreme angle at which the ship was now listing. And finally, Jack Thayer jumped overboard as Charles had only moments before, and miraculously reached collapsible D, where he once again met Phillip.
They were forced to stand up in the boat, though, because it was taking in so much water.
But just above him his parents were holding each other tight, as the water rushed onto the ship. Kate gave a quick gasp, surprised by the brutal chill of the water. And Bert held her as they went down. He tried to keep her afloat for as long as he could, but the downdraft was too great, and as he held her, the last words she said to him, as the water rose up around them, were "I love you." She smiled then, and was gone. She slipped through his hands, and he was struck by the crow's nest moments later just as, very near them, Charles Fitzgerald was relentlessly pulled under.
The radio shack was under water by then, too, and the bridge was gone, as collapsible lifeboat A floated away like a raft on a summer beach, and hundreds dived into the water everywhere, as the huge bow plowed into the ocean. The ragtime sound of the band was long gone by then, and the last anyone had heard from them was what many thought to be the somber strains of the hymn "Autumn," drifting out toward the lifeboats, to the women and children there, and the men who had been fortunate enough to reach the lifeboats on the starboard side, far from Lightoller's sterner vigil on the port side.
The hymn seemed to hang like ice in the frigid night air and it was a sound that would haunt all of them for the rest of their lives.

Now those in the lifeboats sat and watched as the bow plunged into the ocean so sharply that the stern swung up in midair, pointing at the sky like a giant black mountain. The lights seemed to remain on, strangely, for a long time, blink off finally, come on again, and then disappear for good in the terrifying darkness. But still the stern stood pointing at the sky like a demonic mountain. There was a hideous roar from within as everything possible came loose and shattered, a din mixed with cries of anguish, as the forward funnel broke off and hit the water in a shower of sparks, with a thunderous noise that made Alexis scream as she lay in her blanket beside a total stranger.
And then, as Edwina watched the three giant propellers outlined on the stern against the sky, there was a roar like no other she had ever heard, as though the entire ship were being torn asunder. Many explained it afterward as sounding as though the ship were actually breaking in half, but all were told that this couldn't have happened.
And all Edwina knew, as she watched the hideous sight, was that she didn't know where Charles or Phillip or Alexis or her parents were, or if any of them had made it to safety. She clung tightly to George's hand, and for once he had no words for what they had both seen, and she pulled him close to her and hid his eyes as they both cried in lifeboat number eight, watching the tragedy that had befallen the unsinkable Titanic.
AT 1:50 A. M the Carpathia received her last message from the Titanic.
By then the Titanic's engine room had been full to the boilers. But after that, nothing more was known. They steamed toward the Titanic's location at full speed, fearing that they would find her in serious trouble, but at no time did they suspect that she could have gone down before they reached her.
At 4:00 A. M they reached the location that she had radioed to them, and Captain Rostron of the Carpathia looked around in disbelief. She was gone. The Titanic was nowhere to be seen.
She had vanished.
They moved cautiously about, anxious to see where she had gone to, but it was another ten minutes before green flares in the distance caught their eye. With luck, it would be the Titanic, already on the horizon, but in a moment, Captain Rostron and his men realized what it was. The flares were being fired from lifeboat number two, not on the horizon at all, but quite near them. And as the Carpathia edged toward the lifeboat just below, Rostron knew for sure now that the Titanic had gone down.
Shortly after four o'clock, Miss Elizabeth Allen was the first to board the Carpathia, as passengers from that ship crowded the decks and the corridors and looked on. Through the night, as they felt the Carpathia changing course, and caught glimpses of the crew's urgent preparations, the passengers knew that something very serious must have happened. At first, they feared it was trouble on their own ship, and then they heard it from crew members and passed it on . . . the Titanic was sinking . . . the unsinkable ship was in trouble an iceberg . . . going down. . . . And now, as they looked around them, over an expanse of four miles, they saw the lifeboats all around them. People began to call out, there was waving and shouting from some, and from other boats only silence, as shocked faces looked up. There was no way to tell anyone what had happened, no way to say what they had felt as they looked on, the huge stern sticking straight up into the night sky, toward the stars, and then plunging down, carrying with it their husbands and brothers and friends, gone forever.
As Edwina watched the Carpathia move closer to them, she let George hold the baby for a while, and wedged Fannie in between them. George's hands were too cold to row anymore, and still wearing Charles's gloves, she took a turn rowing toward the ship, sitting next to the Countess of Rothes, who had rowed relentlessly for the past two hours. George had done his fair share, too, but Edwina had spent much of the time holding the baby, and trying to comfort Fannie, who had cried for Kate ever since they left the ship, and more than once she had asked for Alexis.
Edwina had assured her that they would find them all again as soon as they could.
Edwina assumed somehow that her mother had found Alexis by then, even though Edwina had led her to believe that the child had been put in the lifeboat with them. But it was possible that Alexis would have reappeared, and Edwina also tried to assume that the rest of her family, and Charles, were in another lifeboat nearby. She had to believe that. People were still calling out to other boats as the Carpathia neared, hoping to find husbands and friends, asking who was on board, or if they had seen them. Several of the lifeboats had tied up together by then, although number eight and several others were still on their own, moving slowly through the ice-speckled water. And then finally at seven o'clock in the morning, it was their turn, as they hovered near the rope ladder and the rope sling that the Carpathia had prepared to bring them up to the deck, where the others were now waiting. There were twenty-four women and children aboard lifeboat number eight, and four crewmen. And Seaman Jones at the oars called up to the men on the ship and explained that there were several very small children. The deckhands on the Carpathia lowered a mail sack then, and with trembling hands, Edwina helped Seaman Jones carefully put Fannie into it as she cried and begged Edwina not to make her do it.
"It's alright, sweetheart. We're going up to the big ship now, and then we're going to find Mama and Papa." She said it as much for herself as she did for her little sister. And as she watched the tiny dark head at the top of the mail sack, she felt tears sting her eyes, thinking of what they had been through.
She felt George squeeze her hand, and she squeezed it back without looking at him. She knew that if she did, she would begin to sob. She couldn't allow herself the luxury of letting go yet. Not until she knew that the others were safe, and in the meantime, she had to take care of Fannie, Teddy, and George, and that was all she could allow herself to think of.
She was still wearing the brogues and the pale blue evening dress under the heavy coat her mother had urged her to put on. Her head was so cold, she felt as though she had nails hammered into it, and her hands felt like marble blocks as she waited for the mail sack to be lowered down again, and then with the help of Steward Hart, she put Teddy into it. The child was sO cold that most of his face was blue, and more than once during the night, she feared that he might die of exposure.
She had done everything she could to keep him warm, held him, rubbed his arms and legs and cheeks. She had held him between herself and George, but the bitter cold had been hard on him and little Fannie, and now she was afraid for them as she tried to climb the rope ladder, and found she didn't have the strength to take hold. She put George in the swing first, and he looked like a very small child as they raised him to the deck. He was more subdued than she had ever seen him. And then they lowered it down again for her, and Steward Hart gently put her in it. She started to close her eyes On the way up, but as she looked out at the other boats in the soft pink light of the dawn, all she could see was a sea of ice, dotted by tiny icebergs, and here and there, a lifeboat, full of people, anxiously waiting to be rescued. The lifeboats were nowhere near full, and she could only hope that in the other ones, she would find the people she had left only hours before on the Titanic's Boat Deck. She couldn't bear to think of it now and tears filled her eyes as her feet touched the deck beneath her.
"Your name?" A stewardess was waiting on the Carpathia's deck with a gentle smile, and she spoke to Edwina, as a sailor put a blanket over her shoulders. There were coffee and tea and brandy waiting for them just inside, and the ship's surgeon and his assistants were there to check them out. There were stretchers laid out on the deck for those who couldn't walk, and someone had already gone to get George a cup of hot chocolate.
But nowhere around her did she see her mother and father z . . Phillip . . . Alexis . . . Charles. . . . And suddenly she could barely speak, she was so exhausted.
"Edwina Winfield," she managed to say as she watched the other survivors being slowly raised to the deck just as she had been only moments before. And they still had more lifeboats to reach and she was praying the others would be in them.
"And your children, Mrs. Winfield?"
"My . . . I . . . oh . .." She realized suddenly who they meant.
"They're my brothers and Sister. George Winfield, Frances, and Theodore."
"Were you traveling with anyone else?" Someone handed her a mug of steaming tea, and she could feel dozens of eyes on her as her pale blue evening dress fluttered in the wind, and she warmed her hands on the steaming mug as she answered.
"I was . . . I am traveling with my parents. Mr. and Mrs. Bertram Winfield of San Francisco, my brother Phillip, as well, and my sister Alexis. And my fiance, Mr. Charles Fitzgerald."
"Do you have any idea where the others are?" the stewardess asked sympathetically as she ushered Edwina into the main dining saloon, which had been turned into a hospital and lounge for the Titanic's survivors.
"I don't know . .." Edwina looked at her, with tears filling her eyes. "I think they must have gotten into another lifeboat. My mother was looking for my younger sister when we left . . . and . . . I thought . . . there was a little girl in our boat, and at first I thought . . ' She couldn't go on, and with tears in her own eyes, the stewardess patted her shoulder and waited. There were a number of others in the dining saloon by then, women who were shivering or vomiting, or simply crying, their hands torn to shreds by the rowing and the cold. And the children all seemed to be huddled in one spot, with huge, frightened eyes, many of them crying quietly, as they watched their mothers and mourned their fathers. "Will you help me look for them, please?" She turned huge blue eyes to the stewardess again, while still glancing at George frequently, but for once, he wasn't a problem. Teddy was being looked at by a nurse, he was still stunned by the cold, but he was beginning to cry now and his face was no longer quite so blue, and little Fannie now clung to Edwina's skirts in silent terror.
"I want Mama . .." she cried softly as the stewardess left them to speak to some of the others, but she promised to come back as soon as she could, and to tell Edwina if there was news of her parents.
And now, boat after boat was being reached, even the four that had been tied together. The men in collapsible B had been rescued long since by lifeboat number twelve, and it was here that Jack Thayer finally wound up, but when they took him off the overturned canvas boat that was sinking fast, he was too exhausted to notice anyone else in the boat.
His own mother was in number four, tied up right next to him, and he didn't even see her, nor she him. Everyone was exhausted and cold and intent on his or her own survival.
Edwina left the two younger children with George, still drinking hot chocolate, and went out on the deck, to watch the rescue operations.
There were several other women from the Titanic standing there, and among them, Madeleine Astor. She had little hope that her husband had managed to get off after she left, and yet she had to see the survivors boarding from the lifeboats. Just in case . . . she couldn't bear the thought that she had lost him. Just as Edwina prayed that she would see a familiar face coming from the lifeboats now. She stood high up, at the rail, watching as the men climbed the rope ladder, and the women came up in the swing, and the children in the mail sack, although some of the men were too tired to climb, and their hands were all so cold they could hardly hold the rope now. But what Edwina noticed most of all was the eerie silence. No one spoke, no one made a sound. They were all too deeply moved by what they had seen, too cold and too afraid, and too badly shaken. Even the children seldom cried, except for the occasional wail of a hungry baby.
There were several unidentified babies already in the dining saloon, waiting for mothers to claim them. One woman in number twelve spoke of catching a baby that had been thrown to her, but she had no idea by whom, and she thought it might have been by a woman from steerage who had made her way to the Boat Deck and then gave her child to anyone who would take it off the ship. The baby was inside, crying now, along with several others.
The scene in the dining saloon was both touching and chaotic. Women sat together in small clusters, crying softly for their men, being questioned by the stewardesses, the nurses, and the doctors, and a handful of men were there too, but pitifully few, thanks to Second Officer Lightoller, who would not let most of them into the lifeboats.
Still, several had survived in spite of it, due to less stringent rules on the starboard side, and ingenuity in some events. Still others had died, in the water, attempting to scramble into lifeboats. But most of those who had jumped from the ship had been left in the water to die by those who were too afraid to pick them up, for fear that they might capsize the lifeboats. They had made a piteous din at first, until at last there was only the terrible silence.
Edwina saw Jack Thayer enter the room then, and a moment later heard his mother scream, as she discovered him too, and she rushed toward him, crying, and then Edwina heard her ask him, "Where's Daddy?" He saw Edwina then, and nodded, and finally she walked slowly over to him, afraid of what he might say, yet still hopeful that he might have good news, but he shook his head sadly as he saw her coming.
"Was anyone from my family in your lifeboat?"
"I'm afraid not, Miss Winfield. Your brother was at first, but he slipped out when a wave hit, and I don't know if he was picked up by another lifeboat. Mr. Fitzgerald jumped about the same time I did, but I never saw him again. And your parents were still on the deck the last time I saw them." And he didn't tell her that he had the impression that they were determined to stay together and go down with the ship, if they had to. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to them." He choked on the words as someone handed him a glass of brandy.
"I'm very sorry." She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. She seemed to cry all the time now.

"Thank you." She didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be.
She wanted him to tell her that they were alive, that they were safe, that they were in the next room. Not that they had drowned, or he didn't know. Not Phillip and Charles and Alexis and her parents. It couldn't be . . . she wouldn't let it.
And one of the nurses came to her then. The doctor wanted to see her about little Teddy. And when she went to him, he was lying listless, still wrapped in a blanket, his eyes huge, his hands cold, his little body trembling as he looked at her. She picked him up and held him as the doctor told her that the next several hours would be crucial.
"No!" she said out loud, her hands and body shaking more than the child's. "No! He's alright . . . he's fine. . .." She couldn't let anything happen to him, not now, not if . . . no! She couldn't bear it. Everything had been so perfect for them. They had all loved each other so much, and now suddenly they were all gone, or most of them, and the doctor had told her that Teddy might not survive the exposure. She held him close to her now, willing her own body heat into him, and trying to make him drink the hot bouillon he refused to swallow. He just shook his head back and forth, and clung to Edwina.
"Will he be okay?" George was staring up at her with huge eyes, as she clung to their little brother, and there were tears running down her cheeks now, and George's, as he began to absorb the implications of all that had happened in the past few hours. "Will he, Edwina, will he be okay?"
"Oh, please, God . . . I hope so She looked up at George then and pulled him close to her, and then Fannie, still bundled up in her blanket.
"When will Mama be here?" she wanted to know.
"Soon, my love . . . soon . . ' Edwina found herself choking on the words, as she watched the survivors continue to drift into the Grand Saloon of the Carpathia, looking dazed from their ordeal in the lifeboats.
And then, trying not to think of all they had lost, she picked up her baby brother and held him close, crying softly for the others.
HE CAME UP THE LADDER with hands so frozen that he could barely use them, but he refused to come up in the swing like a girl. He had been picked up by number twelve after he left collapsible D, and then he had lain on the floor of the lifeboat almost unconscious with exhaustion.
But now, in some distant part of him he felt the exhilaration of being saved. Theirs was the last lifeboat in, and it was eight-thirty in the morning. He came up the ladder just before the crew, and a moment later he stood on the deck of the Carpathia with tears running down his cheeks, unable to believe what had happened to all of them. But he had made it. He had made it alone, without parents or sisters or brothers, and now he only prayed that they had made it too. And on shaking, frozen legs, he walked slowly into the dining saloon, and saw a sea of unfamiliar faces. Seven hundred and five people had survived, and more than fifteen hundred had died, but at that precise moment, the survivors looked like thousands to Phillip. He didn't know where to begin looking for them, and it was fully an hour before he even saw Jack Thayer.
"Have you seen any of them, man?" He looked desperate, with his hair still damp, his eyes wild and black-circled. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to any of them, and probably ever would. And everywhere were half-dressed people in blankets and evening clothes and towels and nightgowns. They couldn't seem to get away from it even now.
They didn't want to go away, or change, or leave each other, or even speak. They just wanted to find the people they had lost.
And now they were all desperately looking through the crowd for familiar faces.
Jack Thayer nodded distractedly, but he was still looking for his own father. "Your sister is here somewhere. I saw her a while ago." And then he smiled sadly. "I'm glad you made it."
The two boys embraced, and held each other for a long time, the tears they had yet to shed choking them now that they were safe on the Carpathia and the nightmare had finally ended, or almost.
And then as they parted, Phillip looked frightened again.
Looking for the people he loved was frightening; the fear that they might not be there was almost overwhelming. "Were any of the others with her?"
"I don't know . .." Jack looked vague. "I think maybe a baby."
That would be Teddy . . . and the others? Phillip began to wander the crowd, and walked out on the deck, hoping to find her, and then finally, back in the saloon, he suddenly saw the back of her head, the dark hair, the slim shoulders, and George standing next to her with his head bowed. Oh, God, Phillip began to cry, as he pressed through the crowd and hurried toward her. And then without a word, as he reached her, he pulled her around, looking down into her eyes, and pulled her into his arms as she gave a gasp, and a sob, and began to cry.
"Oh, my God . . . Oh, Phillip . . . Oh, Phillip. . .." It was all she could say. She didn't dare ask for any of the others.
O GREATER LOVE And everywhere around them, people who had been less fortunate were crying softly too. And it was a long time before he dared to ask the question.
"Who's here with you?" He had seen George, and now he saw Fannie, concealed in her blanket just behind Edwina. And Teddy was lying on the floor, wrapped in blankets, in a makeshift cradle. "Is he alright?" Her eyes filled with tears again, and as she looked at Phillip, she shook her head. Teddy was still alive, but the child's lips were so blue, they looked almost black now. Phillip took off his own coat then and put it around him, and squeezed Edwina's hand tightly in his own. At least five of them had made it. And by the end of the day, they had found no others.
Teddy was given a bed in the ship's infirmary that night and he was being carefully watched, as was Fannie. They feared frostbite on two of her fingers. And George was sound asleep on a cot in the hallway.
And late that night Edwina and Phillip were standing on the deck, staring silently out into the distance. Neither of them could sleep, nor did they want to.
She never wanted to sleep again, or think, or dream, or let her mind wander back to those terrible moments. And it was even more impossible to believe now. She felt certain that as the crowd in the dining saloon thinned earlier that day, she would see her mother and father chatting quietly in a corner, with Charles standing right beside them.
It was impossible to believe that they hadn't survived, that their parents were gone z . . and Alexis . . . and Charles with them, and there would be no marriage in August. It was impossible to believe, or to understand. The fabric for her wedding gown had gone down and .
.
. She wondered if her mother had held Alexis's hand z . . if it had been terrible . . . or quick . . . or painful.
They were terrible thoughts, and she couldn't even voice them to Phillip, as they stood side by side on the deck, lost in their own thoughts. Edwina had been with Teddy and Fannie all day, and Phillip had kept an eye on George, but through it all, it was as though they were waiting. Waiting for people who would never appear, people who would never come back again, people she had loved so. . . . The Carpathia had made a last search of the area before steaming toward New York, but there had been no more survivors.
"Phillip?" Her voice was soft and sad in the darkness.
"Hmm?" He turned to look at her with eyes that were suddenly older than his sixteen years. He had aged a lifetime in a matter of hours in the lifeboat.
"What are we going to do now?" What were they going to do without them? It was awful to think about. They had lost so many people they loved, and now she was responsible for those who were left. "We'll go home, I guess." She spoke softly in the night. There was nothing else to do, except that Edwina wanted to take Teddy to a doctor in New York . . . if he survived that long. They had told her already that the first night would be decisive. And she knew she couldn't bear another loss. They couldn't let Teddy die. They just couldn't. It was all she could think about now, saving him, her mother's last baby.
And as she held him in her arms later that night, listening to his labored breathing, she thought of the babies she would never have .
.
. Charles's babies . . . all her dreams gone with him, and tears suddenly began streaming down her cheeks as her shoulders shook in silence as she mourned him.
Phillip and George were sleeping on mattresses in the hall and Phillip came back to check on her late that night, looking tired and worried.
He had been wondering if his parents had tried to jump free of the ship, and if they had survived for any length of time. Maybe they had tried to swim for the lifeboats, and no one had picked them up, and they had died in the icy water. There had been hundreds of people left to die in the waters around him. No one had wanted to pick them up, and so they called out and swam aimlessly for as long as they could, until finally they went down like the others. It was a horrifying thought, and he had lain awake thinking about it, until he finally gave up the thought of sleep and came to find Edwina. He sat with her in silence for a long time. All over the ship it was like that. The survivors hardly seemed to speak, everywhere there were people standing alone, looking out to sea, or small knots of people, just standing there, but not talking.
"I keep wondering if It was difficult to find the words in the darkened infirmary. There were several other people there, and in another room, there were a dozen or so unidentified children. "I keep thinking about the end.
His voice cracked and he turned away, as Edwina reached out to touch him.
"Don't think about it . . . it won't change anything." But all night, she had thought about the same thing . . . her parents, and why her mother had chosen to stay . . . and Charles and Alexis. What had happened to her in the end? Had they found her? Had she gone down with them? Phillip had been horrified to discover that she hadn't been with Edwina.
His parents had never realized that she hadn't gotten off the ship with them in lifeboat number eight.
He sighed deeply then, and looked at little Teddy, sound asleep, with his soft baby curls. He looked deathly pale, and every now and then he was racked with coughing. Phillip had caught a terrible cold too, but he didn't even seem to feel it. He insisted that he'd had it the day before, and then she remembered something her mother had said, that he had caught it staring down at the unknown girl in second class. And now she was probably gone too, like so many others.
"How is he?" Phillip asked, looking down at his youngest brother.
"He's no worse She smiled gently and smoothed his hair, and then bent to kiss him. "I think he sounds a little better." As long as he didn't come down with pneumonIa.
"I'll stay with him while you get some sleep," he offered, but she sighed. "I couldn't sleep anyway." She kept remembering their careful cruise over the area where the Titanic had sunk early that morning.
Captain Rostron had wanted to be certain that they didn't leave behind any survivors, but all they saw were deck chairs, and pieces of wood, a few life vests, and a carpet that looked exactly like the one in her room, and a dead seaman floating past them. Just thinking about it now made Edwina shudder. It was all too impossible to believe. The night before, the Wideners had been giving a dinner for Captain Smith, and now only twenty-four hours later, the ship was gone, and with it the captain, Mr. Widener, his son Harry, and more than fifteen hundred others. Edwina could only wonder how a thing like that could happen.
And again and again, she thought of Charles, and how much she had loved him. He had said he liked the blue satin gown she wore the night before he had said it was exactly the color of her eyes, and he liked the way she'd done her hair. She had worn her sleek black hair swept up on her head, much like the style worn by Mrs. Astor. And now, she was still wearing the dress, in tatters.
Someone had offered her a black wool dress that afternoon, but she had been too busy with the children to change. And what did it matter now?
Charles was gone, and she and the other children were orphans.
They sat side by side for a long time that night, thinking about the past, and trying to sort out the future, and finally Edwina told Phillip to go back to bed, George would be worried if he woke and didn't find him.
"Poor little guy, he's been through it too." But he had come through it valiantly, and in the past twenty-four hours, he had been both a comfort and a help to Edwina. Had she been a little less tired, she might even have been worried because he was sO docile. And little Fannie slept on through the night, just beside her. And once Phillip had gone, Edwina sat quietly, watching both Fannie and Teddy, touching their faces, smoothing back their hair, giving Teddy a drink of water once when he woke up thirsty, and holding Fannie when she cried in her sleep. Edwina sat there and prayed, as she had that morning, at the service conducted by Captain Rostron. Not all of the survivors had attended, but she and Phillip had. But many of the others were just too tired, or too sick, or they thought the service too painful. In one brutal blow, more than thirty-seven women of those who had survived had been widowed. One thousand five hundred and twenty-three men, women, and children had died. There were only seven hundred and five survivors.
Edwina dozed a little finally, and she only awoke when Teddy stirred and looked up at her with eyes sO much like their mother's. "Where's Mama?" he asked, pouting, but he looked more like himself, and when Edwina stooped to kiss him, he smiled, and then cried again for their mother.
"Mama's not here, sweetheart." She didn't know what to say to him. He was too young to understand, and yet she didn't want to lie to him and promise that she would come later.
"I want Mama too,", Fannie cried, looking woebegone when she heard Teddy wake and ask for their mother.
"Be a good girl," Edwina urged, with a kiss, and a hug. She got up and washed Teddy's face, and then left him, protesting, with a nurse, while she took Fannie to the bathroom. And when she saw her own face in the mirror, she knew just how bad it had been. In one day she had aged a thousand years, and she felt and looked like an old woman, or so she thought. But a borrowed comb helped, and a little warm water. Still there was nothing lovely about the way she looked, or felt, and when she walked into the dining saloon later to find the boys, she saw that everyone else looked ghastly too. They were still wearing an array of odd, and sometimes barely decent, costumes, now added to with borrowed gear and ill-fitting clothes that only added to their strange appearances and general confusion. People were milling about everywhere, and whenever possible they had been put in crowded cabins together, or on cots in the hall, but there were hundreds sleeping on mattresses in the Grand Saloon, in crew quarters, on couches, or even on the floor. But to them, it no longer mattered. They were alive, although many of them wished they weren't, as they realized how many had been lost.
"How's Teddy?" George asked almost as soon as he saw his older sister, and he was relieved when she smiled. None of them could withstand any more disasters.
"I think he's better. I told him I'd be back in a few minutes." She had brought Fannie with her, and she wanted to get her something to eat before hurrying back to care for her little brother.
"I'll stay with him if you want," George volunteered, and then suddenly, the smile froze on his lips, and he stared at something just behind her. He looked as though he had seen a ghost and Edwina stared at him and touched his arm, bending toward him.
"Georgie, what is it?"
He only stared, and then after a minute, he pointed. It was something on the floor, next to a mattress. And then, without a word, he rushed toward it and picked it up and brought it back to her. It was Mrs.
Thomas, Alexis's doll, she was sure of it, but there was no child in sight, and inquiries of those standing nearby turned up nothing. No one could remember seeing the doll before, or the child who had left it.
"She must be here!" Edwina looked around frantically, and there were several children in sight, but none of them was Alexis. Edwina was holding the doll tightly in her hand, and then her heart sank as she remembered. The Allison child had had a doll like this, too, and she said as much to Phillip, but he shook his head. He would have recognized this one anywhere, and George agreed, and so did Fannie.
"Don't you remember, Edwina? You made her dress with some material from one of yours." And as he said it, she remembered and tears came to her eyes. How cruel it would be if the doll had survived and Alexis hadn't.
"Where's Alexis?" Fannie looked up at her with enormous eyes, and the look of her father that had always brought him so much pleasure when he was alive. Even he had been able to see their astounding likeness.
"I don't know," Edwina answered her honestly, and held the doll in a trembling hand, and continued to look around her, but she didn't see her.
"Is she hiding?" Fannie knew her well, but Edwina didn't smile this time.
"I don't know, Fannie. I hope not."
"Are Mama and Papa hiding too?" She looked so confused and Edwina's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head and continued looking.
But an hour later, they still hadn't found her, and Edwina had to go back to the hospital to Teddy. She still had the doll with her, and she had left Fannie with Phillip and George. And when Teddy saw the doll, he looked suspiciously at his older sister.
"Lexie?" he said. "Lexie?" He remembered the doll too. In truth, Alexis had seldom been without it. And one of the nurses smiled as she walked past them. He was a beautiful child, and it touched her to see them together. But suddenly Edwina looked up, and then stopped the nurse to ask her a question.