[Dalyia]

“I’m not going to fall off, Finn. The ladder is perfectly solid. We found it in the stables.” It was the only one tall enough to reach the top shelves in the closets, because the ceilings were so high. But he was serious, and held the ladder for her, as she reluctantly got down. “I’m not a cripple, for heaven’s sake, and I’m only a few weeks pregnant.” She lowered her voice so no one would hear them, although Winfred and Katherine were both so deaf that it was unlikely they would, and there was no one else around.
“I don’t care. You have a responsibility to all three of us now. Don’t be stupid,” he said, and climbed the ladder for her. And in less than a minute, as he did the same job, he was sneezing too. And a moment later, they were both laughing. It was a relief after the somber discoveries she had made that day. The sad story of Audra was still on her mind, but she didn’t mention it to him again, she knew now how painful it was for him, and she felt sorry for him. “Can’t we just throw this stuff away?” Finn asked, looking at the heap of yellowed linens on the ground. Most of them were tablecloths no one had used for years, and the rest were sheets for beds in sizes that no longer existed.
“I will, but we had to at least pull them out first. We can’t let them sit up there forever.” She was becoming the unofficial mistress of the manor, and Finn was pleased to see it.
“You’re such a little housewife,” he teased her, and then he smiled down at her from the top of the ladder. “I can’t wait till we have a baby running around here. It’ll really feel like a home then. Until you came along, Hope, it just felt like a house.”
She had infused her own life and spirit into it, just by cleaning it up and moving things around, and the furniture she’d had restored looked beautiful, although there was still too little of it. The house was mostly empty, and it would have cost a fortune to fill it. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds, so she was trying to do her best with what was there, and only added a few things, as small gifts to him. He was deeply appreciative of everything she did. And the results were looking good, although it was obvious that it would take years to restore the house to its original condition, and probably more money than Finn would ever see. But at least he had claimed his mother’s family’s ancestral home, and she knew what it meant to him.
His love for the house was almost as deep as his love for her. He had come home to his roots, and reclaimed them. It was a major step for him. And he felt as though he had been waiting to do that all his life, and often said that to her. He knew that his mother would have been proud of him, if she were still alive to see it. And Hope loved sharing the experience with him. Her efforts to improve it for him, and return it to its previous glory, were a gesture of love for him.
For the next several weeks, Finn continued to work on his book, and Hope took a few pictures. She took them discreetly in the pub sometimes, mostly of old people, and no one seemed to mind. Most of them were flattered. After Finn finished work in the afternoons, they went for long quiet walks in the hills. He talked with her about his work, and how the book was going. She paid close attention to everything he said, and was fascinated by the process of his work, as he was with hers. As he had even before he met her, he loved the photographs she took. And he particularly liked the series she was doing of old men and women in the pubs. They had wonderful faces and expressive eyes, and seen through Hope’s lens, they were transfused with all the tenderness and pathos of the human spirit. They had tremendous respect for each other’s work. No one had taken as great an interest in her work before, nor had anyone in his.
They talked about the baby, although she didn’t like to dwell on the subject. She didn’t want to get her hopes up too much now that she had gotten comfortable with the idea. The first three months were always unsure, and at her age even more so. Once she got past that, she would really allow herself to celebrate the idea. Until then, she was hopeful and excited, but trying to remain calm and realistic, and somewhat reserved. Finn had already given his whole heart to it, and she had long since forgiven him for the hideous afternoon at the fertility doctor in London, and even for getting her drunk and pregnant later that afternoon. The results of it were too sweet to resist, and she loved him more than ever, particularly now with this additional bond. She was feeling mellow, happy, and very much in love.
They were talking about getting married, and they both loved the idea. All Hope wanted was to spend the rest of her life with him, and he felt exactly the same way. And their plans to marry in the near future made her feel very much mistress of his home.
She was emptying drawers in the dining room one day, in her continuing efforts to purge the house of old, meaningless things, when she came upon a lease that had just been tossed into a bottom drawer. And it looked relatively new. She was going to leave it on Finn’s desk, and then realized what it was. It was a six-year lease for Blaxton House that Finn had signed two years before. And as she read it, she realized that the house had been rented, not bought. She was floored. He had said the house was his.
She thought about putting the lease back in the drawer, and not mentioning it to him. It wasn’t really any of her business, but it troubled her all that afternoon. It wasn’t just that he had lied to her, but it seemed so odd to her that he would tell her he owned it, when in fact it was only rented. And finally, she couldn’t stand it, and decided to clear the air with him. It seemed like an important point to her. Honesty was a crucial part of the relationship they were building, which they both hoped would last for years, hopefully forever. And she wanted no secrets between them. She had none from him.
She waited until teatime to ask him about it, and they were eating the sandwiches and soup that Katherine provided for them every evening. She made them a hot meal at noon, with hearty meat and vegetables and Irish potatoes, which Finn ate and she didn’t. Hope preferred lighter meals, and she was grateful that as her pregnancy progressed, she felt fine. If anything, she ate more than usual, and she hadn’t been nauseous for a minute. She hadn’t been with Mimi either. In the twenty-three years since her last pregnancy, nothing had changed, and she felt healthier than ever, and looked it. She had the bloom of youth and motherhood in her eyes and on her cheeks, despite her age. In fact, she looked suddenly younger than ever.
She broached the subject carefully as they finished the meal. She wasn’t quite sure how to do it, and didn’t want to embarrass him or make him feel exposed by what she had discovered. In the end, she decided to just say it.
“I found something in a drawer in the dining room today,” she said as she folded her napkin and Finn took a long swallow of wine. He always drank more in the evening when he was writing a book. It helped him relax, after concentrating on the story all day. Hope could see that it was grueling work.
“So what did you find?” he asked, looking distracted. He had done a particularly hard chapter that day.
“The lease for this house,” she said simply, looking him in the eye, to see his reaction. There was none for a minute, and then he looked away.
“Oh,” he said, and then looked at her again. “I was embarrassed to admit to you that I don’t own it. I do, in my heart and soul, but I couldn’t afford it. So they rented it to me. I was hoping that in the six years of the lease, I could scrape up the money, but this works for now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about it, Hope. It’s humiliating to admit you can’t buy your own family’s house, but right now I just can’t, and maybe I never will.” He looked embarrassed as he said it, but not about the lie. It wasn’t really a lie, or not a big one anyway, and she told herself that he owed her no explanations, neither about the house, nor about his financial situation, although he was her baby’s father and the man she loved. But for the moment anyway, he was not responsible for her, and probably never would be financially. She didn’t need that kind of help from him. And she had thought about it all afternoon since she’d found the lease. The only thing that really bothered her was that they were pouring money, or she was, into someone else’s house, which didn’t seem smart to her. She was a little startled that he let her do that, but Finn was in love with Blaxton House, whether it was his or not. It had belonged to his ancestors, and to him by birthright, even if it was only leased.
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Finn,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, but I was curious about it. It’s really none of my business.” He was looking at her, and obviously feeling awkward. “I have a proposition to make you. I’m very fortunate, because of Paul. I have no kids”—and then she smiled, and gently touched his hand—“or at least I didn’t for a while, and that’s about to change. But Paul was incredibly generous with me, and he has helped me make some very good investments that are continuing to pay off.” She didn’t hide her circumstances from him, she had no reason to. It was obvious he wasn’t after her money, and she loved him. They loved each other, and shared a sacred trust and bond, particularly now with the baby. She trusted Finn completely, and knew she wasn’t wrong. He was a good man, and a solid person, even if he didn’t have a lot of money. That meant nothing to her. Paul hadn’t had much when she married him either. Hope was not interested in money. What she valued was the love they shared.
“The proposition that I want to make you is that I buy this house. If you feel uncomfortable about it, you can pay the rent to me, although I don’t see why you should. Or some token amount to make it legal, like a dollar a month, or a hundred a year. I don’t give a damn about it. We can ask the lawyers how it has to be. When we get married, I can give it to you as a gift, or put it in trust for you in my will. If we don’t marry, and don’t stay together, which would make me very sad”—she smiled at him, they both knew that there was no risk of that, from all they could see at the moment—“then we could turn it into a loan, and you could pay me back over thirty years, or fifty for all I care, but I wouldn’t pull the house out from under you. This house should be yours, and I’d feel better for you, knowing that you own it now, or that someone does who loves you and isn’t going to change their mind and stop renting it to you. This house is yours, Finn. It belonged to your family for hundreds of years. If you’ll agree, I’d like to buy it now and protect it for you, and our children. And just to cover all the bases, in case this baby doesn’t happen for some reason, I still feel the same way. I don’t need the money. I don’t know what they’re asking for it, but I think it will make a very, very small dent in what Paul gave me.” She was being totally honest with him, as Finn stared at her in amazement. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him, and she wanted nothing from him in return. She just loved him.
“My God, what did he give you?” Finn couldn’t help asking. She was totally unconcerned about buying the house and what it would cost her. And Finn realized she was doing it for him, out of love.
Hope didn’t hesitate when she answered. There was no one else on earth she would tell, except him. She trusted him with her life, their baby, and her fortune. She didn’t consider the money hers anyway, it was Paul’s, and should have been Mimi’s. And now, one day, it would go to this baby, and Blaxton House was part of that baby’s heritage anyway, because it was Finn’s. She was helping him build a legacy for their child, and if not, out of kindness, for him.
“He gave me fifty million from the sale of his company. He sold it for two hundred net after the sale. I’ll get another fifty when he dies, hopefully not soon. And it’s carefully invested. I actually made quite a lot of money last year. I guess money breeds more money. That’s an awful lot for one woman with few needs. I can afford to buy the house,” she said simply. “And I’d like to do that for you. Do you know how much they want for it?” She had no idea what a house like his would sell for in Ireland.
He laughed in answer. “A million pounds. That’s less than two million U.S. dollars.” It was laughable in comparison to the kind of money she was talking about, which was inconceivable to him. He knew she had money, that was obvious, and she had said that Paul had been extremely generous with her. But he had had no idea she had that kind of money. It was beyond his wildest imagination. “And we can probably get them down on the price for cash, way down. The house is in pretty bad shape, as you know. We might even be able to get it for seven or eight hundred thousand pounds, which would be a windfall for them, and a bargain for us. That would be about a million and a half, in dollars.” And then he looked at her sternly. “Hope, are you sure? We’ve only been together for four months. That’s a hell of a gesture.” What she was proposing was the greatest gift of his life, beyond his wildest dreams.
“I’d like to fix it up with you, and do everything it needs. It’s a shame to let the place go to rack and ruin, particularly if we buy it.”
“Let me think about it,” he said. He seemed overwhelmed. He leaned over and kissed her, drained his glass of wine, filled it, and drained that one too, and then he laughed again. “I think I may have to get drunk tonight. This is all a little rich for my blood. I don’t even know what to say to you, except that I love you and you’re an extraordinary woman.”
They both went to bed shortly after that. They were tired, the emotions of the day were too much for him, and he passed out from the wine. They both woke up in the middle of the night. There was a storm outside, and Finn turned to her in the dark, looking at her, propped up on one elbow.
“Hope?”
“Yes.” She smiled at him. She was happy with the offer she had made him. It felt right to her, and it was so little money compared to what she had. And it was such a great house for them.
“Can I accept the offer now, or do I have to wait until morning?” He looked like an overgrown boy in the dark, and his eyes were dancing, he was so happy. She was making him the greatest gift of his life. And he was almost afraid she would change her mind and take it back. But he didn’t know Hope if he thought that. She was a woman of her word.
“You can accept the offer anytime you like,” she said, with a gentle hand on his neck as the wind howled outside. It was raining hard. Spring didn’t come easily in Ireland, and it was an odd feeling for her, knowing this was going to be her home now, but she loved it too. And she was proud of his ancestral house, sharing it with him, and hopefully their child, or even children. The future lay brightly before them.
“Maybe we should wait and see if the place falls down tonight. That’s a hell of a wind blowing,” Finn said with a smile.
“I think it will be okay,” she said, still smiling.
“Then I want to say yes to your generous offer. Thank you for giving me back my house. And I promise you, when we get married, when I make the money for it, I’ll pay you back. I’ll rent it from you, for the same price I pay now. And I’ll pay you back in installments, whenever I can. It may take a while, but I’ll do it.”
“You can do it any way you want. But at least you’ll know the house is yours and no one can take it away from you, nor should they. You’re the rightful heir.”
He nodded with tears in his eyes, even though he was smiling. He was in awe of her again. “Thank you. I don’t know what else to say. I love you, Hope.”
“I love you too, Finn.” He put his head on her shoulder and went back to sleep then, like a child. He looked as though he felt peaceful and safe, as she lay holding him, and gently stroked his hair. And finally, she fell asleep again too, as the storm raged on outside.